Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Potty Dance

Isn't she cute!! I haven't been drinking my water all last week, and I started again today, and let me tell you.... I have been doing the dance all day long! Seriously, I feel like I've been living there!! And, I was on the phone with a demonstrator (not telling who!) and I had to go soooo bad! But... I was nice and didn't rush her off the phone! Have you ever peed your pants? I have. And in recent years. Funny stories there! Thanks to Carebear and Emery, I've got some great stories. Let's just say, if I get laughing really hard, I hope there is a bathroom around!


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The decision is made, for today

I've always been one of the people that worry about what everyone else thinks about me. I've worried and stressed when people don't like me, or don't approve of something I've done. There have been times in my life I have changed myself to a very high degree, to be something someone else thought I should be. I'm better now than I use to be. If I were to tell you some of the things I changed when I was younger... let's just say you wouldn't believe me. Now, I still let it affect me every now & then, but I react differently. Instead of changing my outward self and who I am in public, I just take it on internally. I just re-act, by eating! I discovered that this week. Well, I don't know if “discovered” is the right word, because I've known this for a long time, but I re-realized it again. Several times in the last week I have eaten away my stress, but really, it's not gone away, it's just gotten larger. Because then I'm not only dealing with "what others think" but I'm also dealing with all the negative talk about myself to myself, as well. It's really true that losing weight is 90% mental. Yes, I am mental! :) Last night was kind of a(nother) breaking point for me, and after I had a pretty large break down (and a large burger, large fry, and large soda to go along with it) I went, "DUH Sam!". Why am I doing this? Why am I letting what others think, and stress in my life, affect my dreams and reality. I have this wonderful friend that I have the pleasure of working with, and we've discussed this several times. She decided long ago that it's not worth it to let what others think, matter. And she truly doesn't care. And people gravitate toward her. She speaks her mind; she makes others feel good about themselves, and helps them feel important. I want to get to that point. I want to get to the point where what I think, God thinks, and my husband thinks, matters more than the other voices out there. And that truly, it is about helping others feel good.

I keep waiting for that movie moment, when everything just makes sense, everything just fits, and everything just changes perfectly into what I want it to look like. Movies like The Mirror Has Two Faces, have you seen it? You know that moment when they decide, "I'm going to change", and then they do and it shows them exercising, eating carrots, doing "healthy" things. And at the end of the very motivating song, they look fabulous! New hair, new makeup, new clothes, new body, new person. I keep waiting for that. But... it's not coming. The truth is that it's a daily decision. It's all well and good to know that I'm God's child, and that I don't care about what others think of me. But the truth is, I can only decide that for today. And tomorrow, I'll wake up and have to decide it all over again. I look back at my posts and see the truth in this. It goes like this: Motivating post, oh crap post, Motivating post, shoot - I messed up again, dang it - I'm frustrated, motivating post... etc. That's life, and I need to stop waiting for "the moment". I guess you could say it's here - for today. And hopefully, there will be one for tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day for the rest of my life. Who knows, maybe after doing this day in and day out, I'll wake up and it will be habit. And I really won't care what others think, won't look for validation. I'll get to the point that how others feel about themselves is more important than how I feel. I wish I could honestly say I'm there, but I'm not. But I'm on my way, and that's what matters!

This blog has been really different than what I expected. I knew I didn't want it to be all about weight loss, I wanted to share about my spiritual goals too, but it seems like lately it's been a really eye opening experience for me as I contemplate who I am and who I want to be. I didn't expect to be so... open. Sorry if that's awkward. But this blog is about changing me, and the inside needs to be taken care of before the outside can reflect it. I think that part of why I've been so over weight and struggled so bad, is because I've let the inside go too. For so long, I haven't cared about what really is important, and focused on things that, in the long run cannot bring me happiness. I think as I bring the intangibles into focus and get them in line with my value system; it won't be so hard to lose weight.

I came across an article by some actress that lost about 50lbs. And although I wasn't super impressed with her weight loss methods (kind of Big Looser style, really great - but not very practical for most people), there was one thing she said that really did affect me. She said "I've realized I'm more important than food is. I love a slice of pizza. But I love myself more. Being thin is about changing the way you think about yourself. It's about saying you deserve to be healthy. In no way have I perfected this eating thing and I don't know that I ever will. But life is about making progress, it's not about perfection". Isn't that great? I especially love "I love a slice of pizza, but I love myself more". I think that's going to be my new slogan when I'm tempted to eat bad foods, in unhealthy amounts.

So, tonight I go to bed, not caring about what others think of me, and knowing that I am a daughter of God. And tomorrow, I look forward to waking up and making that decision again. I hope you make it too! (Unless you’re a boy, then I hope you think you’re a son of God. ;)


Friday, March 26, 2010

Let's lighten up!

Wow, my last few posts have been so serious, let's lighten up! This week has been a wild ride, and honestly, my eating hasn't been the greatest. Okay, here is the confession, I had three Rancherito breakfast burittos in two days!! UHG... they are SOOO good and just called my name. With their gooey cheese, soft potatoes, salty ham..... mmmmm I want another one! And with the stress of everything, I totally gave in. Haha... of all the things, right? Well, there you have it. That's just one of those quirky things, I've been thinking about those lately. Some others? I love it when the blankets on the bed are all straight and smooth when I get into bed. I love change, even little ones. I changed to a Firefox browser at work, and love it. I love to change the colors on my computer programs, my desktop picture every month, and really, anything! If I could move once a year, I probably would. I think that's why I don't have problems setting goals, because they mean change. Now the actual accomplishing of those goals, that's something different. But I'm going to do it this time!!

I'm really excited, I've got a friend at work that is doing WW also and she is really motivated right now and offers me a LOT of inspiration. I asked her some questions and will feature her on my blog next week, watch for that!

Well, what a silly and strange post. :) Maybe it's because it's so late, and I'm loopy. I should go to bed. Night! (OH, guess what, this is my 50th post!! Not bad for three months of blogging!)

(I posted a recipe for Baked Mac & Cheese on my Food, Recipes, & More blog, go check it out, it was delicious!)


Thank you!

Last night I went to check my blog for comments, and was shocked to find one that was not quite as supportive as I'm use to. Really my readers have spoiled me. My readers have been so kind to me, so forgiving of my many shortcomings, so encouraging when I've been down, and offering praise when I've done well. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw the comment yesterday "You seem like such an idiot to me!" from an anonymous reader. Have to be honest; I hope the person who wrote that is reading this. I'm sure that they are curious at what I would do and say, so this is for you my friend. My first initial reaction was of course, hurt. I put my heart out there, and someone felt the need to step on it. For someone who is already insecure and unsure of herself, that was not really what I needed. Then, I started to feel angry; I started to have all sorts of mean thoughts and wanted to sling mud right back. From the moment I read it, I have debated about whether I should say something or not, or if I should delete it or not. Obviously someone that posts something like that is trying to get some kind of reaction and I couldn't decide if I wanted to give in. I took a hot shower, and as I started to relax, I started to think about why someone would say something like that. Really, what's the point? That person was either, one, someone pretending to be my friend. In which case, I would hope that ALL my friends know that if they have some feedback to give me, and I am being idiotic (which is different than telling someone they are an idiot), I would hope they know they could talk to me about it. Of course, I would hope they chose a more private way to do it, but if not, I'll still take it. Or two, this person is a complete stranger who just wants to make waves. Either way, it wasn't nice. And honestly, I'm sure it won't be the last time it happens. When you put yourself out there on the internet, you open yourself up to it. That was realization number one. Realization number two, there are really only three opinions that really should matter. God, myself, and my husband. (Willow is trying to bite my hands right now and I can't type! Haha) This is something I have struggled with my entire life. Allowing other's opinions matter to me too much. After my shower, I was reading my scriptures, and had realization number three. That God loves me, and he loves this person too. He wants me to forgive others as he forgives me. I make so many mistakes everyday, and if I can be forgiven, I should forgive too. So who ever you are, I forgive you. And if that makes me an idiot, then so be it. So to my anonymous friend, I say thank you. Thank you for helping me along my path of learning to rely more on my Father in heaven.


Thursday, March 25, 2010

What a crazy day

Well last night was not exactly what I had expected it to be for several reasons. :) We had a delightful time at the party, even though only one guest was able to make it (thanks Rosie!). We had fun laughing and chatting. Gina, the Lia Sophia rep, did a great presentation for us and we tried on all the jewelry. For those that couldn't make it, you were missed! If you would like to see a catalog I have some. We are closing the show on Saturday. And just so you know the special right now is Enjoy any 2 items at Regular price and any 1 item for half price then SPOIL yourself with any 2 necklaces ALL for HALF PRICE! (Your most expensive items are HALF PRICE). So if you're interested, let me know.

Last night after the show, I had a little bit of an emotional breakdown. It didn't really have to do specifically with the party, but more about things that have been building up over the last few weeks. In fact, it didn't have anything to do with the show. It's just funny how sometimes things line up in our environment, and all of the sudden we see a truth about ourselves, and that truth, although usually painful, is hopefully a catalyst in our changing something to help us be a better person. That kind of happened to me last night, and it was painful to admit some things to myself about the person I am. However I think this is one way God has of helping us recognize our weaknesses, and encouraging us to turn it into a strength. And that is my hope, that as I deal with this new knowledge, I'll be able to make some changes that will eventually lead to more joy from something that use to be painful.

Well, after the party, Willow and I went to visit my dad, as it was his birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday dad!!! I've got such an awesome dad, he has done so much for me over the years, and he puts up with my crap. I love you MORE!!! Willow loves my dad too! Actually she loves both my parents and goes nuts when we go see them. They both have this dog whisperer thing going on, and can get her to calm right down. I think Willow broke her tail; it has a one inch crook at the end. Not sure how she did it. We are taking her to be spayed next week, so we'll have them look at it. We had a fun visit and it was great to see my parents!

When I got home, Mike was on the couch, and couldn't move. Literally. I have never seen him in so much pain! We tried to get him standing so we could go to bed, and... let me just say it was awful. He fell around Christmas on the ice and hurt his back. A chiropractor told him it was a bulging disk and helped him and he was getting better. Well sometime after he left for Scouts last night something happened, we're not quite sure what. He said it felt like someone had stuck a one inch knife in his lower back. And it was sending sharp pains down his left side all the way to his toes. We called some men from the ward to come over and give him a blessing. It was a beautiful blessing! God is so good! Then they helped us get him into the car, it took five minutes, that's how bad it was! We went to the ER, what a joke. I know those good people try so hard, but for something being an emergency, you sure do a lot of waiting! Finally we got him into a bed and he started to be able to calm down (he was spasaming in the wheel chair - it was so sad!) and he was able to take some small naps while we waited. Obviously there wasn't much they could do at that point, but they gave him a shot and some pain meds, and he finally was able to get some real sleep. We left around 3, and got to sleep about 3:30am. Can I just tell you how much I love this man, and my heart breaks over this pain. Please pray with me that he'll heal quickly.

Last night I posted a... interesting post right during my emotional breakdown. I said things that I probably would never have said in a rational moment. If you read it, I'm sorry. If I offended you or made you feel bad, I'm sorry (It's been removed). After sitting in the hospital for four hours, as you can imagine, I had some time to think. :) It's amazing how we think we should go down one road, because we just know it's the best thing for us, but then it turns out, Heavenly Father has different plans. And even though those plans are not very pleasant sometimes, when you come out the other end, you always (sometimes after some time dealing with it) see that in the end, he was right. As I said, yesterday (the whole day) did not turn out how I expected. But, I learned a lot about myself, about the strength in Mike, about treating others with love, and about the love of my Heavenly Father for me, and all around me.


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Are you coming?!

Don't forget that my party is tomorrow! I sent out a TON of invitations, so you should have received one. If I missed you, I apologize, come anyway! :) You are all welcome to stop by. There will be healthy treats, great company, and beautiful jewelry. Plus I know most of you have not seen my house, so come stop by! I was hoping to be down 28lbs so I could Celebrate 28, but... not quite there. That's okay, I'm still down 22.8 and I'm happy with that!! I'm so excited, this is the hostess piece I chose, and don’t you just love it?!! I think I'll get the earnings as well. To read why I'm hosting this party, click here. To view the Lia Sophia catalog, click here. If you want to come and need my address, e-mail me at Hope to see you there!! :D


Monday, March 22, 2010

Need more fiber?

Dear anonymous, I posted about that cereal on my Food, Recipes, & More for you. Good luck, I hope you like it! Enjoy!


Sunday, March 21, 2010

Please Pray

Scary things happening in our country today. I don't pretend to understand it all, but I know that as I read the info available and watch the news, I don't feel good about it. Please pray that those with the power to make decisions concerning our country will follow their heart, and that their hearts may be lead by God. Please pray!!!


Friday, March 19, 2010

Ummm... WOW!!

So I weighed in yesterday... and it was a good weigh in. Before I tell you this, keep in mind that I really haven't lost in the last four weeks or so. I have been up and down on the same lb. So I think my body was just hanging on to it and finally decided to let go. Okay, so remember how I told you I had lost about 4lbs, well.... I was wrong. Yesterday for my Weight Watchers weigh in I was down 8.4lbs. Seriously. It was funny, because when the lady asked me what I did, I told her I ate on plan and tracked. Hmm... not rocket science, and yet we just make it so difficult for our selves sometimes! As I've thought about what else it could've been, there were a couple of things I could attribute it to:

1. I tracked and ate on plan.
2. I made sure to get all my veggies and fruits in.
3. I drank all my water.
4. I tried some new recipes which made it fun to eat healty.
5. I bought this new whole grain hot ceral, really tasty and VERY high in fiber. Let's just say it really kept things moving. :)
6. I took my minerals and vitamins every day.
7. Last weeks meeting was about recognizing our strengths. I think one of the things I finally recognized, I can do this! I have been struggling the last couple of weeks mentally, as you know. I finally told myself that I can do this and that I expect more out myself, and I lived upto those expectations. And it paid off.

I'll have some before an after pictures to show you soon. There isn't a whole lot of visible difference yet, but I've noticed little things. I have one pair of pants that I have to hold up as I walk or they could slip right down. Yeah, pantsing my self at work would NOT be funny, well.... okay.... it would kind of be funny. I have another pair of pants that were really tight and made me muffin top, but I noticed on Tuesday, that there was no muffin top when I put them on - well, at least while I was standing. Haha. And I've been able to start wearing a pair of jeans that I had to say good bye to for a while. Also, the bracelet that my blog is named after got so loose, I had to take the extra link out of the clasp. It's fun to see your hard work really start to pay off. Anyway, I'm soo happy with all this and feeling good. Ready for another good week!!


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

All is well!

I don't really have much to post about today. Things are going well! I've had a great week, lost about 4lbs, which I'm DELIGHTED about. I've eaten clean all week and tracked all week. Hmmm... do you think the weight loss correlates with following the plan??? I think so! :D Anyway, I'm happy to be down and excited to weigh in tomorrow. :D I woke up with a sore throat, so I'm going to take it easy today and load up on the mineral and vitamins. Willow lost a tooth, one of her lower canines. It's funny because now her bottom lip falls into her mouth and it looks funny. Well, I'm off to meet my day, I hope you have a great one!!!


How to leave a comment

One of my favorite parts of my blog is seeing what comments people have left. I understand that not everyone likes to comment, and that’s okay. However I have been told by quite a few people they can't figure how to post. So I thought I would do just a little tutorial to help you out, because I want to hear what you have to say!

You can follow the blog and post as yourself. I think the easiest way to do this is through Google, so that’s what I’m going to show you how to do. First you need to sign up for a Google account, you can do that with any e-mail address you already have.

1. First click on Follow.

2. Then either click on Google if you already have an account or click on Create a new Google Account if you don’t have one. You are not making a new e-mail address, you will be using one you already have to create your account. If you click on Create a New Account, then just follow what it asks you to do. Now you are a follower.

Now to post a comment:
1. Again, click on the Comment link under a post (pictured above).
2. Write your comment.
3. Put in the Word Verification.
4. Select you identity, which in this case will be google. So you'll need to login.
5. Then click on Publish Your Comment

Ta-Da!!! Your comments will then be published! :) Hopefully this was helpful, and you'll be able to comment when you want to. Thanks!


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A BIG Thank You!

Just had to give a quick shout out to my loving husband!! Last night we came home and I was feeling so tired and cranky. I didn't want to cook, or clean the kitchen. I did my very best to get him to order pizza, but he didn't give in! I fell asleep on the bed for a MUCH needed nap, and he went and cleaned the kitchen and made healthy spicy grilled chicken breasts and steamed broccoli!! What a great guy!! Thank you honey!!!


Monday, March 15, 2010


Just a quick note, to let you know I lost!! Woo Hoo!! After my long venting post, I really got back on the band wagon and have lost 4lbs. :) Yeah! I've tested some yummy recipes and will be posting them on my Food, Recipes, & More blog, so watch for those. Lemon Poppy Seed Muffins, and 1 point brownies! Yum! Anyway, more importantly, I'm feeling much better mentally! Thank you for your support! Both to my blog stalkers (I know you're out there, because my numbers go up about 30 a day, I'm so glad you stopped by), and to those that leave comments for all the encouraging words! The journey continues! We joined the gym this weekend, so the exercise begins this week. Weeee! :D


Sunday, March 14, 2010

An Ode to Subway!

So I've been going to Subway a lot lately, ya know, as it's one of the few fast food, non fast food restaurants. As I was eating lunch the other day, I started thinking about the the journey of my Subway sandwhich. Let me explain... When I was little I always got the same thing:

Ham & turkey, pickles, olives, mayo, white bread, & mustard.

Then one day, I learned that I like lettuce, so I added lettuce. Then a year or so later, I learned... I like onions. So I added onions. And year or so later, I learned wheat is better than white, so I changed to wheat bread.

Then, I went on my mission, and in my first area, the only fast food available was subway. One day, I decided to try something new, and I tried the BMT. OH Yum!!!! So then that's all I ate. It's an Italian sandwich (with lots of delicious calories) and it's sooooooo tasty!

Then, when I started trying to lose weight again, I went back to the ham & turkey. While on the mission, I learned to like tomoatoes, so I added tomatoes.

And then about a month ago, I changed to the honey oat 9 grain, and added jalepenos! And I love it!! :)

Anyway, Subway is great!! Funny how our tastes change over the years. Well the other day I found this website, The cool thing about it is you can build your sandwhich and it will give you the exact calorie count. It makes it SO much easier to figure out the points! Give it a try!


Thursday, March 11, 2010

A confession, the truth, and another really long post!

(I apologize for the length, but I need to vent) Good morning! Today is a beautiful day, isn't it? Well, here goes, I've been in a funk the last two 1/2 weeks. You may have noticed my super positive posts; I've been trying to pump myself up and into a better place. It hasn't worked. Although I've heard from several of you that it's worked for you, and for that I'm glad!! I haven't lost any weight (although I'm happy to say I also haven't gained any), and while I claim that I'm doing all I should be, the truth is, I'm not. I am doing maybe half of what I should be. I haven't been tracking, I haven't been exercising, I haven't been getting all my water in, I'm only measuring 1/2 the things I eat, and I'm only eating on plan about 1/2 the time.

As you know, we were able to get our temple recommends and Tuesday was our first trip back to the temple. I wish that I could tell you it was such an amazingly spiritual experience, and in some ways, it was. But... all my frustrations, anxieties, guilt, anger, and any other dark and painful feeling seemed to come flying out on Tuesday night. Poor Mike! I know that it was partly because of Satan and his desire to keep me from the temple. Luckily I have a loving and supportive husband who wouldn't let me back out. Thanks Mike! I think the other part is that I have been asking the Lord for help and strength in this area of my life, and I know I haven't done my part. Anyway... it was an interesting evening. Even afterward, I still just wanted to eat and be rebellious.

So yesterday morning I woke up and again, I just wanted to eat, lots and lots of junk. As I played with Willow, I decided to have a junk day, and get it all out of my system. We get up with Mike, and then on Wednesdays, because I have the day off, I go back to bed. So I went back to bed with plans to get up, go to the store, and buy all sorts of naughty foods! I woke up again around 10:15, got up, and really looked around. I realized that my house was a mess. That I feel like a mess. That my life was... a mess. And that I could do what I had planned, but at the end of the day I probably would just hate myself for it and feel worse off. Or, I could clean. So I did, I dug in and cleaned the entire house. It felt really good to set my mind to something and to accomplish it.

I had a couple of interesting realizations as I cleaned, both having to do with Willow. We kind of treat her like our kid. I know it's kind of creepy, and everyone has been really understanding about it. The truth is we're having trouble getting pregnant, and have been trying for the last several years. We haven't done all the fertility stuff yet, but we will. Anyway, it's been a really painful process, and as I was talking to her, I realized that she is not a baby. I mean really, I knew that, but it just hit that although she has definitely filled a void in our lives, she is still not what I dream of. I realized that I think that is where some of my pain and frustration is coming from, again. I've been in a good place about this as of late, but I think it's been bothering more than I thought. I know that to have a baby, I need to lose weight, so I'm on the right path. But I just needed to acknowledge those feelings and allow myself to feel them.

The other realization was while I was yelling at Willow for not doing what I told her to do. Okay, maybe yelling is too strong, but we were definitely having a moment. I wanted her to lay down and stay and not jump on the clothes I was trying to fold and she was not obeying me. I was getting so frustrated and giving her collar several strong tugs and speaking loudly saying things like "Why can't you just behave, I know you know what I'm saying! I know you know what to do, why can't you do it????!!!!!". Get where this is going? I started thinking about Heavenly Father, and how I'm sure at times he wants to throttle me and say the exact same thing!! I know what to do; I just need to do it!!!

Well... it was a good day. I accomplished a lot, and feel good about that. For dinner we went to Apollo Burger, and yes I had a big fat juicy bacon burger with TONS of fry sauce, and we had fries and onion rings. I'm saying it out loud! And it was divine! We also talked about getting back on track together and really giving it our all. Another realization is that I'm bored with some of my food choices. So before I went to the store, I looked up some yummy recipes online for breakfast and snacks. I bought some new things, and I'm ready for this new day!!

Thanks for all the support. I know I keep saying that, and I will keep saying it! Because knowing you're out there really is a boon to me and helps me through my day! Thank you!


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Do you do it too?

So yesterday I'm walking through the building at work, just walking ya know, headed out the door. And all of the sudden I realize, I've been talking to myself for the last five minutes or so. Out loud. Yep, having a full on conversation! Then I start to laugh at myself, because, funny, right? Then, I see someone, who see's me just randomly laughing, which of course - makes me laugh harder! Do you ever do this? I find I do it a LOT. There are three times in particular that I do this. One, in the bathroom. Yes, while I'm doing my business, I have a nice chat with myself about a mirade of topics. Sometimes it's a rant, sometimes it's a lament, and sometimes it's giddyness spilling out. The second place I do this, is in dressing rooms. Now, this one can be particularily embarressing, as there are ususally others in the dressing room and I forget - they can HEAR me! This kind of conversation is the sort of converstation you would probably have with a friend while shopping. Talking about does it fit? Does it make my butt look big, or is it just that my butt is big? Is it too long, too short, or sometimes berating myself for eating what ever it is I ate last that is bad and now making the outfit not fit. In the dressing room I have to REALLY focus on not talking out loud, and I don't succeed at that very often. I'm sure it's pretty entertaining to my neighbor in the next dressing room. :) And thirdly, I have converstations when trying to talk myself out of eating something. Now my bathroom, dressing room, and random chats, are more one sided chats where I just talk. But not the food one, this one I've got a full on converstation going on with two sides. Kind of like the little devil and little angel. It goes something like this (this is an actual conversation I had yesterday):

Devil: Mmmmm look at those yummy cupcakes, I should eat one.
Angel: No, no you really shouldn't. It's empty calories and we are being good today.
Devil: Yeah, but their tiny cupcakes, I bet it's not even that many points.
Angel: But we ate that cookie earlier, so we should not eat it.
Devil: BUT... it has pink icing!
Angel: NO
Devil: But we cou.....
Angel: NO
Devil: Are you sure, it looks awfully tas.....
Angel: NO
Devil: Fine (with arms folded and a pouty lip, I walk away)

I'd like to say the Angel wins most the time, but.... it's probably about even lately. I've got to get rid of the little devil, any suggestions? Anyway... as I was chatting with myself yesterday leaving work I thought this would make a funny post, so there you go. If you didn't already think (or know) that I'm crazy, now you do! :)


Monday, March 8, 2010

One step forward, two steps back...

Well... I'm stuck. I'm bouncing around the same three pounds and it's driving me CRAZY!!! I have gone up and down between 244-247 for the last two weeks consistently!!! For the most part, I've been eating clean, following the food guidelines of WW, even getting some exercise! GRRRR! This weekend I'm afraid to say I did let it get to me and did not do very well with my eating. This weekend was funny, I had some small successes, and some not so good moments. Saturday I was home alone and thinking, hmmm.... what else can I eat (and I seriously mean that, earlier in the day I had a nice binge, yes I'm admiting it!). Then instead of doing that, I decided to get outside as the weather was so beautiful. I called up my friend Tami and we went for a walk. Thanks Tami! Anyway, I'm back on plan today and will keep trying. Tonight we are going to join the Kearns Rec Center, and start working out more regularly, so I know that will help. Plus, when I work out, I just feel better about myself. I keep thinking maybe it's time to change up the diet, but I know I have more to loose on WW. There is just something I am not seeing... WHAT is it?????!!! Do you ever just feel like being a three year and throwing myself on the floor and kicking and screaming, "You stupid fat, I DON'T like you!!!! GO AWAY!!!! You are NO LONGER WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ya know? Probably won't do that. Instead, I'll go work it out tonight at the gym. :) That is the mature thing to do, right? HA! Well, as always, onward and upward! Time for lunch!! :)


Saturday, March 6, 2010

Need your help

I'm looking to put together a list of songs that are really upbeat and motivational like Kelly's Breakaway. But I'm just not that up on music and have a limited library. What songs do you love that keep you motivated and in a positive mood? Who sings it and what's the name of the song? Thanks for taking the time to answer!! When I gather all the songs, I'll put a whole list on here for everyone to enjoy.


Thursday, March 4, 2010

My Dark Little Corner

***Before reading this post, press play on the the music box to the side, your expereince will be enriched if you do. :)***

This morning I was driving to work and contemplating my life. I usually say my morning prayers as I drive to work. I find if I say them when I first wake up, I'll just fall back asleep. But when I'm in the car by myself I turn the music off and it's pretty peaceful. So my morning drive is usually a contemplative one, but especially this morning. I was just about to turn off the radio to pray, when this song came on. I've always loved this song, but this morning it just really touched my heart. As I listened to it, I started thinking about all the changes I'm making, or trying really hard to make. It is risky to change, you know? You wonder if you can do it, you wonder if what you are changing will be better than what you have. You wonder if people will expect more of you once you change, and if it isn't easier to stay where you are. All of these things were going through my mind as I listened. I thought, you know I've been living in my dark little corner of the world the last several years. I've let myself become average, when I know I have much more to offer. I started to feel a great sense of hope rise within me as I thought, you know what, I'm taking that chance, I'm taking the risk, and I'm going for it. This year, I'm not stopping and I can't wait to see what's on the other side! I want to enjoy the journey, and hopefully inspire and help others along the way. I'm crawling out of the corner and stepping out! I'm not giving into Satan anymore, he holds no power over me. When he comes a callin', I won't be there! I have a lot to offer this world, and I'm going to give it with all my heart! I want to say thank you to each of my readers. First, thanks for reading my long posts, that in itself is really nice! ;) But also thank you for caring, thank you for supporting and encouraging me, thank you for being amazing examples for me. You change me too, and you make me a better person!

"I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway"

Do you have a dark corner too? I know exactly what mine is, and where I get trapped. I'm giving it up, and I hope you'll give this some thought, and give yours up to. This world has too many people living as average, when they are actually a diamond. We have been pushed down by environment, enfluences, and Satan. Let's throw those things off and be GrEaT! Join me!


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

What was I thinking?

I was out back playing with Willow today and thought, oh I know I'll do some lunges across the yard. Ha! I did about 10 on each leg, and could barely walk afterward. Haha. Have you ever done something like that? Tell me about it!!


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Plateau, oh how I dislike thee

Well, I've been on a plateau for the last week. I go up a 1lb, down two, up 1, down 1.5, up two, blah blah blah. I'm eating clean and doing what I should be. I haven't added in the exercise yet, and know that will help. We will be turning in our taxes on Saturday, and once we get those back we are going to join Kearns Rec Center. Until then, I'm going to try some at home stuff. I have this great bike that I never ride, and some great DVDs. I just need to do it. I'm in a good head space though, even though I'm plateuing, I'm not giving up. I know that one day all of the sudden I'll be down 5lbs, because that's just how it works.

Last night we made the YUMMIEST dinner! When I get a second I will post it on my Food, Recipes, & More section. It was a shrimp green curry Thai dish with rice. Oh my goodness!!! And it was decent on points too... watch for it, you'll want to try it!!

I am going to start sharing a inspirational quote each day. This in my new favorite:

Everything will be okay in the end, if everything isn't okay - it isn't the end. - Unknown!

Haha, love that quote!


Monday, March 1, 2010

A change in gears...

For those of you don't know, I use to work a business with Mike called Youngevity. Although I love and absolutely believe in their product, they don't have a party plan necessarily - which I also love, so I decided to try a few other companies. I sold bras for a while, now those were wild parties! But there was a problem with the bra quality, so I stopped. I have of late been selling Pampered Chef (I'm not dropping from PC quite yet though. I have really enjoyed that and LOVE their product. But have been feeling like I really need to go back to working Youngevity with Mike. The truth is the potential of the Compensation Plan is just so far superior with Youngevity. So, I believe in and love the products, I know they work and are something I can get behind, and I would like to build ourselves a little fortune so we can pay off debt, live a little more comfortably, and serve others. So after much thought and consideration, that is what I am going to do. I am NOT planning on turning this blog into a commercial, so don't worry, I'm just letting you know about the change and why I'm doing it. This is the one and only time I will solicit interest on this blog (although that's not to say I won't ask you about it in person). If you would like more information, please let me know either by leaving a comment, or you can e-mail me privately at I am working on creating a new blog that I will be doing features and interviews on the different products that we offer. We have over 450 products, lots of which I've never tried. I'm excited to get in and try some of them! I will put a link on this blog, but it will be your choice if you want to view that blog and information. There may be times when I use a particular product that is helping me on my path to loosing 100lbs, and I may talk about it (none of such products are anything like a drug, or anything dangerous. It is all natural products that will just help my body do what it's supposed to do, just a little more efficiently. I've tried those other type of products and know that it's not worth it in the end). I just want you to know that I do only to share my entire journey and not to push products at you. I hope you can see the difference, and if you ever feel I'm starting to go in the "pushing" direction, please contact me (privately is nice) and I will evaluate. The LAST thing I want to do is scare people away from reading my blog. The truth is I am ESTATIC about this choice; I feel very at peace with it and know it is the right thing for us to do. I look forward to spending more time with Mike in a concentrated effort to better the lives of those around us, and our own. Lots of changes this year, it's going to be an amazing year!!!!!