"If you try to get back the experience you had yesterday, you'll miss what God has for you today."
My mediation teacher, Clint, said two things this week that I thought were very poignant. The first is the quote above - which I'll talk about in a second. The other was that meditation is like reading a book. Each time you meditate, it's like turning a page. It may feel like nothing is happening and that it's insignificant. But day by day, page by page, you start to see it stack up. And before you know it, you are a changed person. So this week in Meditation group there was a woman who shared her experience during our meditation. She has been doing this for 5 years. She had been away for two weeks and said that she felt like she was back at day one. Page one. She said it felt awkward and silly, and embarrassing. I had a thought I shared with her after it was all over. Maybe she is at page one, but... maybe it's a different book.
Folks, I am starting a different book. I've finished and said good bye to the last one, it was a really good one, I must say. However I am looking forward to this new one. "Last Year, 45lbs lost, weight watchers, etc" was my book last year. And it seems I've clung to it with all the tenacity I have. Held tight to it for fear that if I truly let it go, if I finally admit that it's over, I'll be a failure. But the truth is, Clint is right. If I keep trying to get back the experience of yesterday, I will miss what God has in store for me today. Last year was beautiful. It was full of lessons about myself, God, and how to be a better person to others. It was filled with adventures and beautiful mountain sides. It taught me that I can do hard things. And just because it's over, doesn't mean I have to give back those lessons. They get to stay with me.
And so I let go of yesterday, to take hold of today.