Thursday, June 4, 2015


It's been such a long week. It's been really fun, but SO busy! I have barely had a chance to breath. Things are finally starting to slow down though, and it should be a pretty chill weekend. I'm looking forward to getting caught up on the day to day stuff and maybe getting a nap??? :D

Yesterday by the time dinner time rolled around I was exhausted! Emma and I had been running most of the day, and when we weren't I was working or working out. I had pulled out some chicken and had it marinating, but just before Mike got home my blood sugar started to drop. I hate it when that happens. It makes me feel HORRIBLE. I can be in a completely great mood - and in seconds go to feeling like crap - which makes me less than patient about anything. By the time Mike got home I did not want to cook. I put the chicken in the fridge and told him I was ordering pizza. He is sick, so he was fine with whatever as long as he didn't have to do it. I had the order all put in, the credit card in even. I was about to hit "Submit" and I had this thought "It's always going to be hard. You know that right? There is always going to be something that will make making good choices difficult. If you are ever going to change, you have to cook even when you don't want to. Don't give in". 

I did submit. But I didn't push the button. I submitted to the thoughts in my head. I believe that it wasn't just my thoughts, the spirit was with me too encouraging me to be my higher self. My better self. I turned my phone off got up and made grilled chicken, yellow squash, and cut up some fresh pineapple. 

Yesterday I won. I listened. I submitted to the change I want so desperately. I submitted to the Spirit's promptings. We did order pizza tonight, but it was planned. We usually eat out once a week and we decided to have that tonight. And I felt fine about that. We always end up buying too much. And normally - I don't mind. (Talk about a first world problem - I always feel like such a jerk about those) But today when I was putting the left overs in the fridge I was thinking I wish we had bought less so that there wasn't so much to eat tomorrow. Because I don't really want the calories from my yummy meal tonight - tomorrow too. I'm going to try freezing the left overs and see how that works. Lesson learned though, less is better! And submitting is good. 

Monday, June 1, 2015


There is no magical way of eating that is going to make you thin. No matter how much you search online, no matter how many books you read, no matter how hard you pray - there is not some magical way of eating that is escaping you. Not that research, and books, and prayer can't help. They can. But in the end, if you want change, YOU have to change.

If you want change, YOU have to change!

I've always said that I love change, and it's true, I do. But I seem to hit a wall on every plan I start about 4 weeks in. I think it's because that is the point of real change. The honey moon is over. The excitement is starting to wear off. And the weight of real change is starting to weigh on me. Last week - I buckled under the weight. I stopped working out - granted I've been having trouble with my back. But I could have pushed it a little harder. I have been eating horribly. We've eaten out a lot. I've binged a lot. And, I feel it! I feel heavy again. I feel tired and exhausted and cranky. I am struggling to get up in the morning again. I'm struggling to feel motivated. I'm struggling.

I have the saying "I can do hard things" posted all over my house. I like having a constant reminder. I think we all go through times in our lives where something so important as "I can do hard things" gets lost in the shuffle of everything else we are trying to balance. Or we get stuck in the mud and crap that we are dealing with in our life, after all, don't we all have a little crap? We all need little reminders that we are strong. We all need a little push. Whether that comes in the form of a uplifting song, or a text from a loved one, or in a note to yourself that you can do hard things. I put them all over so that when I get stuck in the mud of every day - I can open my fridge and see it, and remember to pull myself out and not go for the easy choice.

If you want change, YOU have to change!

So here is the hard thing I'm going to do today. I'm going to pull on my big girl pants (literally - bahaha) and do something hard. I'm going to not do what's easy today. I am not going to quit today. I'm going to readjust as needed and continue on. I am going to find real change this time. Watch me.