Sunday, January 31, 2010

An emotional weekend

Never thought I would say something like this, but I have to be honest, I'm glad this weekend is over! We bought a new training system for Willow. And while we are really excited about the changes it's bringing about, it has been a tiring and emotional ride. We were doing the class at Pet Smart, which are all about the treats. But we just were not seeing the changes in her we had hoped for or any improvement in her behavior. We were just really frustrated and thinking bahhhh! So Mike's brother told us about this training program that he used with his dogs and it was really great (if you want more details for your dog, e-mail me). So we looked it up online, and bought it!! I also have to say that Pet Smart was really great and gave us a partial refund for the classes we had paid for, they definitely kept our business!! This new program has made a huge difference. It is more about teaching your dog who is the Alpha (just like the mom dog is the alpha and corrects her puppies with growls, nips, and occasionally grabbing that skin above their neck). Turns out Willow is a very willful pup, and had a really hard time giving up her position in our little pack. And let's be honest, she was running the roost! (Is that a mixed metaphor?) Then, on top of that we were speaking in church today; I had a Sunday lesson to prepare, and family coming over for dinner.
So... yeah, emotional. But overall the talk went well and I felt good about it. I spoke about Obedience and Sacrifice. What originally got me thinking about those two principals was that to do what I have set forth, to accomplish my spiritual goals, and my weight loss goals, I'm going to have to be obedient. To the Lord, and also to the rules I have set for myself. I am going to have to make sacrifices. Both in food I may want to eat, and in making sure that I spend a good amount of time doing the things I know will bring the spirit in my life. Because I don't think I can do this without Him! I need that extra help and strength! That's why I made my goals two fold. Huge blessings, but that will take some sacrifices. I've already given up my three favorite shows I used to watch (although I'll definitely watch the finale of the Biggest Looser). Now it's about filling my time with productful and goal-fulfilling activities. Anyway... that was my talk in a nutshell... minus the crying! :) My primary lesson went just fine; I've got a darling class!

Dinner with family was kind of last moment, which was a little stressful, but we had so much fun I'm glad we did it! It was my parents and Mike's parents that came up from Price. They all came to hear us speak, and then came over to our place for some dinner. It was fun to spend some time with all of them, as we haven't done that in a while! We have such great families, we are so blessed!

Well I'm off to spend some time with my honey, good night!

This is the last January I will be overweight - woo hoo!!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

A story teller, and the point...

Haha, anyone who knows me knows I love to tell stories (true stories). Well my last post I got so into the story, that I forgot to mention that all those pictures of me are some of my "skinny" pictures and are my motivation and they help me to visualize my goal. That is such an important step in being able to achieve something, is being able to see yourself as you want to be, or having what it is you want. When you can taste it, see it, smell it, feel it, etc. I think it's easier to stay the course and continue to work for it. It's when we lose sight of it, that we fall of track. There is a fine balance between keeping your eye on the end goal, and also enjoying the journey.
As I was downloading those pictures, I came across some other fun "skinny" pictures of me and some family on my mom's computer, so I just thought I'd share those with you for fun. Hope they don't mind!! Enjoy! :)

These are my two brothers, Brett and Ryan. They are 7 and 6 years older than me. So growing up I mostly remember them just picking on me, haha. However I have really enjoyed spending time with them as we've grown older and cherish their friendship!

Ryan and me

My mom and me, you’re never too old to sit on your mom's lap! I love you more!!!!

This is my nephew Tyler, he just turned 5 in October - wow time goes fast!! I have to say I like the look of a baby in my arms. I fully expect to have a similar picture like this in about a year and nine months. A year to lose 100lbs, and nine months.... well you get the idea.

This is a picture of me with my mom's parents, Grandma & Grandpa Richards, at my Seminary graduation. They both passed away while I was in Alaska, I miss them terribly! Love to both of them!

This is one of my bridals. One of my goals has always been to fit in my wedding dress better than when I actually got married. There was a slight hiccup with the tailoring of it and then I had gained about 5-10lbs. It didn't look bad, but I couldn't breathe in it. I've always said that when I get back into it, I want Mike to rent a tux and limo and we will go out to a really nice restaurant and go dancing. I don't know if I'd actually do that in my wedding dress, but I would buy some kind of prom dress. It would be fun to have an adult prom though, anyone want to play???

This is my Cousin Sarah coming to visit me when I returned from Alaska. We don't get the chance to see each other very often, but we've recently been reunited it seems through blogging! She is an amazing woman and is stronger than she knows! I love you Sarah!

This is about three weeks into dating Mike. We went to Vernal for his good friends wedding where he was the best man (hence the tux). Isn't he a hotty!!!! Whew!!! As the wedding began and he came down the stairs with some other chick (one of the bride's maids) on his arm, I thought, WOW, I can't believe this guy is dating me and totally got the butterflies! He is so dang HOT!! I still think that to this day!!! I can't believe he chose me. I love you honey!
This is Mike's sister Miriam and I at that same wedding. We had met once before, but really got to spend some time together on this trip and became good friends! We looked good Miriam!! :)

This is my cousin Kira last year. We were working on weight loss together, and I couldn't do a family tour without her, I love her to pieces!! She is a super strength to me and I'm sooo glad she's in my life!
One more...
This is Liana and I in California last summer. I was down about 25lbs at the time. Liana and I have been best friends since she was in Kindergarten and I was in first grade. Although we would sometimes grow apart, we always ended up back in the same group of friends.

Obviously this is not all of my cherished family, but these are just the pictures that I came across. Sorry, I just love my family so much and they give me so much strength. They offer a lot of positive support and I couldn't do this without them. There is one person whose picture is missing that should definitley be here, and that's my dad. I have a specific one in mind; I've just got to find it! He is such a wonderful man and a good example to me. I love you dad, watch for your pic soon! :)

Have a great day everyone, do something positive for yourself and tell your family you love them!







Thursday, January 28, 2010

The past, and now

My goal is becoming more real to me every day. I'm really working on picturing myself as I will look when I get to the end. If you didn't know, in 2002-2004 I served a mission in Alaska for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In the last nine months of my mission, I lost 50lbs. I remember how awesome it felt when I lost that weight. It was so empowering to be able to go hiking with the missionaries, and be able to keep up. I remember the day I first made that decision to loose weight. I was at my heaviest point (for back then, which I would gladly take now. Haha) at 225.


(Me at 225lbs)

We went on a hike with several other missionaries and I fell behind very quickly. And I'm not talking a few 100 feet, I'm talking like 10-20 min or more behind. It was so depressing and discouraging that I just started crying and almost stopped. One of the other Sister missionaries stayed with me and encouraged me to keep going. I did eventually make it to the top. I decided that I was going to change. And I did!



(This is me at the top of the hike thinking - NO more!)

Luckily my next companion was Sister Larson. When I first met her, it was a day after that hike, and I thought "Oh great... one of those girls!". She probably doesn't know this, but after I saw her in the mission home for the first time, I cried. She was gorgeous with long dark hair, very trim, stylish, probably the prom queen in high school (were you?)... the kind of girl that I really pretty much stayed away from as much as possible. I was already feeling so self concious and terrible about myself after the hike, and then to be paired with this beauty for who knew how long! But... she turned out to be one of the biggest blessings in my life, and continues to be a great friend! Once I got to know her I realized there was so much more to her than her looks. It taught me that although it's really important to be healthy, and nice to be trim, it's more important what's on the inside. She was a big help to me in loosing the weight too. I just ate what she did. And she had to exercise often (or she was really cranky! :) Love you Kelsey!), so I tried my best to keep up with her. We must have done that Denise Austin Kickboxing video a few hundred times. Oh... and don't forget Buns of Steel, haha. Anyway, I lost the weight (she also cut my hair and I started wearing actual makeup as well. These were not the only things I learned from Kelsey, but I'm sticking with a theme here. :) ).


(This was at the top of the first big hike we took that I was really able to keep up on. If you look far in the distance, you'll see Denali)


(This is Kelsey and I on our last Hike that we took together before I went home, I love how gorgeous that background is, and how flat my stomach was... haha)


(This was the hair cut Kelsey gave me the day I went home, it was a sad but happy day. Look at those skinny arms, my goodness!)

I came home, and it was great. Shopping the first time was SOOO overwhelming. As a missionary, there isn't really any money to buy clothes. So I went from a size 18/20 to about a 12/10, but was still wearing the 18/20 size. So needless to say, shopping was quite the experience, but so thrilling!!!

(This is Heather Bowser, one of my other companions. I went to visit her in Virginia)

And then... life happened, I met Mike (the best thing that's ever happened to me), got married (a delightful day, and every day since), and as the saying goes "Let myself go". Poor guy! And here I am five years later, and ready to change my life again.

I've really been focusing on visualizing what I will look like, and sometimes I get so into it, that I'll look in the mirror and be surprised at what I see. I figure that's a good thing. I've started making some plans for milestones as they come, and I'm really excited, because it makes me realize one, how fast this really will go, and two, I've got to get my butt in gear!! :) My first milestone celebration will be around the 25lb mark in March. I'm going to host a Lia Sophia party. I went to one last night, and it made me realize this is the perfect first reward. All my life (except for those few months I had met my goals) I have let my weight stop me from wearing fashionable, I mean really fashionable closthes and accessories. I mean I don't think I dress like a girl from a barn (sorry if you really are a girl from a barn. :) ), but I deffinitley hold back. In the picture of me on my blog I have on that head band. I love it and think it's darling, but have yet to wear it in public. I feel like if I do, I'm just being a poser. Anyway... so back to jewelry, I always love the cute chunky stuff, but have been too chicken to wear it. So my first celebration will be to get some of that kind of jewelry and to wear it proudly. So... mark the date on your calendar, it will be on March 24 at 7:00pm. You're all invited! Come celebrate with me!

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Monday, January 25, 2010

What are you lying about?


So I dream. I dream a LOT! And I have periods of time, usually a couple of weeks, where all I do is dream when I'm asleep. It's like watching movies all night long and not much rest happens. And I have crazy crazy dreams! Sometimes I remember my dreams. Sometimes I remember them just as I'm waking up and I'll groggily tell Mike and he always looks at me as if I'm completely nuts (and I am, let's be honest!). Anyway this morning I had a very interesting dream, and I actually remember a good portion of it. I won't give you all the details because then you'll know I'm crazy. But there was one part I thought was particularly interesting. In the dream I was up for a new position at work (which by the way was not my real work AT all!!!). I was going to become a goal coach (which is actually what I pretty much do now). And in a company meeting they announced my promotion and wanted me to say a few words. So I got up and said a bunch of blah blah blah that I don't really remember. But I made one point that I do. I said that everyone lies to themselves about something. And my job as a goal coach is to help the person figure out what it is they are lying to themselves about. Because usually this "lie" is what holds us back from doing bigger and greater things. As I woke up, I thought, you know - that's really true! I started pondering on what it is that I lie to myself about and found that there are many. Some are just little white lies, enough to keep me from doing easy things - and to allow others to do them for me. Some are much larger and painful. I think that to face our lies and face the truth I will be a better person. We would all be better people, and wouldn't let them hold us back anymore. So ask your self, "What am I lying about?" today!

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Saturday, January 23, 2010

Broken, but not defeated!

If you haven't seen Avatar, go see it!! I saw it last night for the first time, and went again today with Mike. I didn't really get what all the hubub was about, but now... I get it! It's so funny where we get inspiration from or when it comes. The last three days I've been struggling with wanting to eat healthy. No particular reason that I can see. Probably because the honeymoon stage is over. The big weight losses, you know the 5lbs a week, are over (at least for a little while). The "will-power" is winding down, and now it's up to gumption! I'm just feeling a little blah. As I was watching the movie today, I realized that Satan wants me to feel that way. He wants me to stop moving forward, to fail. He wants me to feel beaten down and that it's impossible to accomplish my dreams. There is a scene in Avatar where the people's home has been destroyed, and the people are checking their wounded. They have been beaten back and are in much sorrow. They are broken. The hero of the story comes into save the day. He brings them hope and returns their fire and determination to live. As cheesy as it may sound, in that moment as I listened to him, I started to feel my own hope cup fill up. I started to think of all the things and people in my life that my Father in heaven has given me. For the Savior that I so often forget to rely on and ask for help. For any amazing husband who is so supportive and thoughtful. For the peace and strength I gain from living the Gospel and following God's commandments (or at least striving to anyway). I'm not giving up, I will achieve what I have set out to do. I may feel a little broken, I may have failed in the past, but I am NOT defeated!

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New Year's Resolution... did you set one??

Don't miss the poll on the left side of my blog! If you set a New Year's resolution, post a comment to this post and tell us all what it is and how you're doing!!! Thanks everyone! (The comment portion should be working now. I broke it earlier, but have fixed it. :))

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

HTML - CSS - Are you speaking English???

I have had so much fun putting this blog together, it's kind of become a little bit of an obsession. I know - me obsess over something? Crazy! :) Anyway, I have actually dove into the world of HTML code, how to read it and how to write it. It's still a learning process but I'm getting the hang of it. There are a LOT of sites out there that offer assistance in this manner and can help you add anything you want to your blog. Usually I just google the exact feature I'm trying to add and then find the site that explains it the best. They'll walk you through it step by step and even give you the code to use. Some that I have found are:

http://www.thecutestblogontheblock.com/blog-secrets.html
http://tips-for-new-bloggers.blogspot.com/
For Typepad blogs - http://everything.typepad.com/blog/2008/03/changing-your-b.html

This next site is one I found that will teach you how to read, write, and change HTML. I LOVE this site as it opens a whole lot of doors!! http://www.w3schools.com/ Give it a try!! If you click on Try It (you'll see it all over) it will bring up a practice screen where you can change the code and see what it does to the picture. So fun! Okay, I know - I'm turning into a nerd (or was I already one... don't answer that).

If anyone is wanting help in sprucing up their blog or adding some kind of feature I'm happy to help as best I can. I'm novice, but would love to share the knowledge I have gained if you want it. Happy Blogging!


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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

First flub... why do we do it?

Well, tonight was my first real flub up since I started. I was eating dinner and Mike ran out the door for a meeting. And before I knew it I had eaten way too much. I don't even know why, I wasn't feeling any particular emotion to trigger it. Does that ever happen to you? It's almost like I'm addicted to that overly-full feeling and I haven't felt it in a couple weeks. In any case it was that bad - could have been much worse. I'll pay for it when I weigh in tomorrow. I'm still in high spirits though and can say that "tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it". Whoever can tell me what movie that is from wins a Gold Star!!! :)

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Fashion Sense....


So we hired a new person at work. His name is Evariste and he is a great guy. We all like to tease him a little, because he is so fashionable. Seriously, this guy can dress! It got me thinking yesterday about my own clothing selections. Yesterday I was wearing this shirt, that although I love it, it makes me look seriously pregnant (which to add insult to injury, I'm NOT!). It got me thinking about shopping and choosing clothes. I have always thought that I don't really have a very good fashion sense, but I realized something yesterday. It's not because I don't have it, but because when you wear "plus" sizes your choices are very limited. What is the deal with that???! Don't heavy people deserve to feel good about what they are wearing? How come clothing designers always save the most hideous material and cuts of clothing for the fat people??! It really just makes me mad. As if we don't feel like there is already a target on our head! UHG! Anyway.... I decided to blame my lack of fashionable clothing on them. :) When I lost 50lbs on my mission, one of my most memorable moments was when I returned home and was able to go shopping. I didn't even know what size of cloths to buy! I ended up in about a size 10-12, for the first time since probably 9th grade. It was so fun to be able to look at the clothes and try on all the cute and stylish clothes I always wanted to wear! I am REALLY looking forward to putting the clothes that I bought that day, back on! And to do some shopping for new clothes that I like! So my goal for 2011, after I have a rockin' bod - gain a sense of fashion. How does one do that? I may need a coach.... any one want to help???! :)

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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Willow

Willow is getting so big, it's crazy! It makes me a little sad, even though I'll be happy when she is a little more trained. She is so smart and is doing really good! She already has learned sit, lay down (which she gets about half the time), stay, come, and go home. We started puppy classes this week and she is going to kick butt! :) Couldn't be a more proud puppy mom. Enjoy the pics!

This is Willow the day we brought her home. She was about the same size as her toy.



We were trying to get her to go down stairs here. You can see that look in her face, like "Guys, I'm not that crazy... yet!". She has since not only mastered the indoor stairs, but our big back door stairs as well!!

This was last week, I gave Willow her first bath and she did really good! She stayed in the tub and didn't really even cry at all.


My little family taking a nap.

This isn't the best picture, but it shows you how big she is getting!!





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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Lemon Water... who knew?

So a couple of years ago I tried doing LA Weight Loss. One of the things they would have us do it drink warm water with fresh lemon juice squeezed in it. They taught that it helped to counter act salt and retention of water. Now, salt is not a bad thing, in fact it is very necessary to living and muscle contraction, and other things. However a lot of our foods are WAY to high in salt. Especially when you eat out!!! So I always have lemon in my water when I go out to eat to help me not to retain water from the extra salt. Just now I was curious if this was founded in fact, so I googled it. I found this article that talks about a mirade of benefits, from beauty, to healing, protection, liver cleanse, diruetic and more. Who knew!! :) Check it out!


Moral of the story? Next time you go out to eat, drink water with some lemon! Yum!

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Saturday, January 9, 2010

Success!!


At Weight Watchers they teach us to not only acknowledge the scale, but also the little wins along the way. It's about changing our life and our behaviors, more than loosing the weight. Because if you can change those long term, the weight will come off! Last night I had a lot of points left over, so we decided to splurge and go to one of my favorite restaurants, La Frontera. I know what your thinking, what a dive! But seriously, they have the BEST Mexican rice ever! If you haven't had it, go try it. Just don't go to the one in West Valley. Try the one in Sugar house (that's the best one) or the one on 104th South. Anyway... I always get two Chili Verde Enchiladas with a huge side of rice. In fact if you tell them not to give you the "salad" (which is just shredded lettuce and some diced tomatos) you get more rice!! :) And you get free chips and salsa to start on, so by the time your dinner comes.... well you know! So last night when we sat down, first thing I did was ask for water with lemon (the lemon helps you not to retain water by the way, try it!) and a small plate. Then I portioned out the amount of chips I would allow myself to eat on the plate, instead of eating half the basket. Then I got one ala carté chili verde enchilda with a side of rice, and the "salad". I only ate until I was full. Which was 1/2 the enchilada and about 3/4 the rice!!! WOO HOO!!! Big win! I got to eat what I wanted and enjoy being out and about, I left feeling in control and proud of myself (and not sickly stuffed like I usually would have been after eating the entire dish), and this morning I was down on the scale!


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Overwhelmed!

I am sincerely overwhelmed and touched by all the thoughtful and supportive comments and e-mails you have all left! Thank you so much for all your words of encouragement and your faith in me. It really makes the biggest difference knowing I have a support group out there! Thank you all! I love you!

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Thursday, January 7, 2010

Just a little scary...

Well I have officially opened my blog for others to view and sent out invitations. I must admit it's just a little scary to put myself out there. Especially because I'll be talking about my weight (and sharing numbers) and personal life, which makes me feel very vunerable. But I want the accountability, support, and to help others who are in the same painful situation that I am (of our own doing of course, but we can change too - so there!). So I am putting it all on the line. Sorry my posts are so long, I promise they won't always be that long! And I plan to share recipes and funny stories about me doing yoga and pilates, so stay tuned! :)

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Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Plan for goal number two, to loose 100lbs

Well, now begins my planning stage of how I am going to accomplish my goals. They are lofty, but I think doable. Weight wise, I plan to lose 10lbs in January & February. Then for the rest of the year it will be 8lbs a month. Obviously there are plateaus to consider and such things, but I have a plan for that too. Normally I'm able to follow an eating plan religiously for about 3 months. Then I start to plateau, get frustrated, and stop. So this time, I'm going to have a different eating plan in the wings. So as soon as my body stops loosing weight, I'll switch things up on it. I think this will keep the weight coming off, and keep my mind engaged. I plan to start with Weight Watchers, and then switch to South Beach. I'm not sure on the other two it will take, maybe back to Weight Watchers, or maybe something different. In any case, I will probably continue to attend the meetings through out the year for added support. I love to plan out my week's menu, and go shopping, so as long as I religiously do that, I think I can stay on target.

I also plan to include exercise in the plan. To start off for the first month or so I will be doing videos here at home. We have Net Flix, which not only gives us unlimited movies, but also has work out videos. I also have elastic bands, weights, and an exercise ball. So I pretty much have a in home gym. ;) Then in probably March, we'll rejoin the gym again. I also am going to be saving some money earned from my Pampered Chef business to pay for a trainer for later in the year. I know that the first 20 or 30lbs will be relatively easy. The higher up I go, the harder it becomes. So I will eventually hire a trainer to help me stay in the game.

Some of the things I really am looking forward to doing this year that I haven't been able to do in the past are: I would love to run a couple of 5k races this year. Also I REALLY would love to be able to snowboard with Mike next winter. I just don't have the leg strength to get up when I fall now, but I will then. I plan to take lessons and really get into it with him. Shhhh, don't tell! The other big thing I would love to do is take ballroom dance lessons with him. I know I could do that now, but it will be kind of a reward thing. I also am looking forward to hiking a lot! And I would love to go on some backpacking trips for camping as well. We are hoping that Willow will be big enough that we could take her with us on things like that.

Well that's the plan, and some of the extra rewards I'm looking forward to. Now I'm off to plan next week's menu and to go grocery shopping. I've got work to do!



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Friday, January 1, 2010

A New Year, A New Begining, A New Me

Well, the holidays have come and gone, it goes so fast! As I have been contemplating my life and this last year, I have much to be grateful for and also had some painful realizations.

In a lot of ways, it was a fabulous year. We bought our first house! Woo Hoo for us! We love the area and the ward and are happy to have our own place finally. We did some painting in the bedroom and the office, changed out all the 70's fans (yuck!) and bought some matching furniture (Bout' dang time). This spring our big project will be the yard. While the front is pretty easy and manageable, we have a jungle out back! Willow will have lots to do!



Also, we recently added a new member to our little family. This is Willow. She is a Pug/Border Collie mix and is almost 9 weeks old. Our good friends, Liana and Russ, realized their Border Collie, Echo, was pregnant in October. And on November 2, she had three little girl pups. We debated about taking one of them, but finally gave in. And when you look at that sweet face, you can see why! It's been a little bit of a transition for us, but we love having her in our home. It's nice to have someone little to love and give attention to! And beyond the nipping and accidents that are just a part of the puppy life, she is a really good dog! Speaking of accidents, I'll be right back...


It has also been a year for growth for both Mike and I. We have learned a lot more about each other, and what we want out of life. We have learned about relationships and are striving to treat each other with more consideration and kindness. Although the good Lord has not seen to bless us with a child, I still feel very blessed. I love my husband with all my heart and am ever grateful for his presence in my life. I only hope that I can learn to better support and love him as we move into another year of our marriage.
Those painful realizations I mentioned were mostly about me, and how selfish I can be. There are things that use to be in my life that I foolishly let go of. And others that I have been clinging to that only bring myself and those around me hurt and pain. My goal for 2010 is to once again, Believe in Myself. I know that on the surface, that sounds yet again like a selfish goal. However I think that I have many great things yet to do in this world. And because of my insecurities, fears, and doubts I hold back from doing many of them. Much of this does have to do with my weight, and much of it has to do with the person that hides behind the weight. I have two main goals for 2010. One is to strengthen my testimony, enjoy Temple attendance once again, and develop a intimate relationship with my Savior . The other is to loose 100lbs. This first goal is long over due and the fine has been a hefty one. One of my good friends gave me a bracelet this summer that has engraved on it "Believe In Yourself". I wear it every day to remind myself of what I am fighting for. Because ultimately, I believe that I can do this. I believe that I can be a much kinder and thoughtful person to those around me - especially my family. I believe that I can forgive those I feel wronged by and have a delightful relationship with them. I believe that I can change the lives of those around me for the better, and I can start that today. But I also know, that first there must be a change in me. And that is my goal, my strife, my journey this day. To be a better person, so that I can do more good in this world. And so that when the day comes that we are blessed to have children, I will be a much better mother for it all.
I invite you to join me on this journey. I ask for your help and support, as loosing 100lbs is a very large challenge. I would love to hear your comments, your successes, and your dreams. I want you to come away from my blog, believing in yourself!

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