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Thursday, January 28, 2010

The past, and now

My goal is becoming more real to me every day. I'm really working on picturing myself as I will look when I get to the end. If you didn't know, in 2002-2004 I served a mission in Alaska for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In the last nine months of my mission, I lost 50lbs. I remember how awesome it felt when I lost that weight. It was so empowering to be able to go hiking with the missionaries, and be able to keep up. I remember the day I first made that decision to loose weight. I was at my heaviest point (for back then, which I would gladly take now. Haha) at 225.


(Me at 225lbs)

We went on a hike with several other missionaries and I fell behind very quickly. And I'm not talking a few 100 feet, I'm talking like 10-20 min or more behind. It was so depressing and discouraging that I just started crying and almost stopped. One of the other Sister missionaries stayed with me and encouraged me to keep going. I did eventually make it to the top. I decided that I was going to change. And I did!



(This is me at the top of the hike thinking - NO more!)

Luckily my next companion was Sister Larson. When I first met her, it was a day after that hike, and I thought "Oh great... one of those girls!". She probably doesn't know this, but after I saw her in the mission home for the first time, I cried. She was gorgeous with long dark hair, very trim, stylish, probably the prom queen in high school (were you?)... the kind of girl that I really pretty much stayed away from as much as possible. I was already feeling so self concious and terrible about myself after the hike, and then to be paired with this beauty for who knew how long! But... she turned out to be one of the biggest blessings in my life, and continues to be a great friend! Once I got to know her I realized there was so much more to her than her looks. It taught me that although it's really important to be healthy, and nice to be trim, it's more important what's on the inside. She was a big help to me in loosing the weight too. I just ate what she did. And she had to exercise often (or she was really cranky! :) Love you Kelsey!), so I tried my best to keep up with her. We must have done that Denise Austin Kickboxing video a few hundred times. Oh... and don't forget Buns of Steel, haha. Anyway, I lost the weight (she also cut my hair and I started wearing actual makeup as well. These were not the only things I learned from Kelsey, but I'm sticking with a theme here. :) ).


(This was at the top of the first big hike we took that I was really able to keep up on. If you look far in the distance, you'll see Denali)


(This is Kelsey and I on our last Hike that we took together before I went home, I love how gorgeous that background is, and how flat my stomach was... haha)


(This was the hair cut Kelsey gave me the day I went home, it was a sad but happy day. Look at those skinny arms, my goodness!)

I came home, and it was great. Shopping the first time was SOOO overwhelming. As a missionary, there isn't really any money to buy clothes. So I went from a size 18/20 to about a 12/10, but was still wearing the 18/20 size. So needless to say, shopping was quite the experience, but so thrilling!!!

(This is Heather Bowser, one of my other companions. I went to visit her in Virginia)

And then... life happened, I met Mike (the best thing that's ever happened to me), got married (a delightful day, and every day since), and as the saying goes "Let myself go". Poor guy! And here I am five years later, and ready to change my life again.

I've really been focusing on visualizing what I will look like, and sometimes I get so into it, that I'll look in the mirror and be surprised at what I see. I figure that's a good thing. I've started making some plans for milestones as they come, and I'm really excited, because it makes me realize one, how fast this really will go, and two, I've got to get my butt in gear!! :) My first milestone celebration will be around the 25lb mark in March. I'm going to host a Lia Sophia party. I went to one last night, and it made me realize this is the perfect first reward. All my life (except for those few months I had met my goals) I have let my weight stop me from wearing fashionable, I mean really fashionable closthes and accessories. I mean I don't think I dress like a girl from a barn (sorry if you really are a girl from a barn. :) ), but I deffinitley hold back. In the picture of me on my blog I have on that head band. I love it and think it's darling, but have yet to wear it in public. I feel like if I do, I'm just being a poser. Anyway... so back to jewelry, I always love the cute chunky stuff, but have been too chicken to wear it. So my first celebration will be to get some of that kind of jewelry and to wear it proudly. So... mark the date on your calendar, it will be on March 24 at 7:00pm. You're all invited! Come celebrate with me!

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3 comments:

The Warner Corner said...

What a GREAT post! It's so inspiring. You are doing so awesome. I'm so glad that we are friends.

Kelsey said...

I love you friend! I learned so much from you and truly cherish our friendship. keep at it! xoxo

Higbee said...

You looked great last night! Keep it up. I have a tip I will send you via e-mail!