All In the Lord's Time

Several times I have hinted at or mentioned the fact that we are having problems getting prego. I thought I would share a little more about that. So... for those of you uncomfortable with very personal info, you may want to stop reading now. :)

Where to start? I guess at the beginning. I was a late bloomer. I didn't start my period until I was 17. After that it was always irregular, sometimes being 6 weeks apart, sometimes a year. When I lost that 50lbs in Alaska I started having a more regular period, about every 6 weeks. That was progress!! I came home, met Mike, and we got married. Before we did, I went to planned parenthood to get put on birth control. They started me on it, and because we didn't know exactly when I would have a period, it was technically in the middle of a cycle. This was AWFUL!! I became a total monster, poor Mike. He must have been thinking "What did I get myself into"! It was so bad. I had three weeks where I just spotted constantly. And about two months of craziness! Let me tell you, after not having periods for so long, that was so hard!

Finally my mom gave me a nutritional product called Women's FX from Youngevity that turned me into a human being again. (If you have hormone problems, I'd be happy to talk to you about this, trust me, your other half would appreciate it, and you would get to feel like you again!) I was on birth control for about two years. So during that time I was regular.

In 2006 I went to Massage school, where I started learning how bad birth control is and what it can do to you. So we decided to get off it. I didn't have a period after that for about 18 months. I finally went to the doctor and they gave me a drug to induce one. Since then I have one maybe once a year. I have been tested for everything! Thyroid, PCOS, etc. Everything comes back normal. So what do they tell me? Lose weight.

As discouraging as it is to hear that (discouraging is to nice a word, it flat out sucks!!!), my history tells me there is some truth to it. When I lost that 50lbs, I did start having a period on a semi regular basis. They say that for some people when your body gets over a certain weight it can do the same thing as being anorexic, it shuts your system down.

In any case, that's where we've been for the last 3 years. We don't protect, there's no reason to. We have not had Mike tested, and I probably should have a few more tests done. We haven't started any fertility treatments, as right now we can't really afford that.

I've really felt for a long time that I needed to lose weight before getting pregnant. That's why this year is so important. I finally decided it was time to make these changes and to really prepare myself, as much as one can be prepared, to be a mom. This year is about losing weight and developing my relationship with God. Next year... fertility. We hope to be in a better place financially and physically. This will be better for my body and better for the baby.

Although this is really hard, and Mother's day totally bites, I am at peace with this. I know that we are doing the right thing, and that there are children waiting to come to us. If we can't have our own, we would adopt and they would be just as precious and loved! So for now, I live by faith. I trust that when the time is right, we will be blessed with children and will get to take that next step in our lives.