I weighed in tonight, and I gained 1lb. So what? I didn't have a very good eating week, but I did work out really hard. I feel good about the week I had and about my accomplishments. I can tell a difference in my clothes, so I'm saying so what! I had other wins that mattered more than the scale this week. Isn't it so easy to get discouraged and to compare ourselves to others? Or to get proud and compare ourselves to others. "She looses faster than me, I suck, I should just give up now" or "I"m losing weight so much faster than she is, wow, she must really struggle - I on the other hand - ROCK!". Again, I say, so what! So what if others lose faster than me. While I'm glad for their success, and love to celebrate with them, I don't need to focus on it. I need to focus on my own habits, thoughts, and actions. And on the other hand, so what if I lose faster than someone else. It just means that our bodies are different and we lose weight at different speeds. As long as we both stay on our chosen plan, then that is all that truly matters. As you can probably tell, I'm kind of having a so what night! :D
Tonight at WW there is this woman, Evon (I'm not sure how to spell it) that hit her lifetime goal and has lost 98.6lbs. She is going to go for the last 1.4lb still, but regardless it was awe inspiring. I totally shed some tears as she was up there, because it gave me such hope that if I stay committed, and I keep going, even if I lose slowly, I too will stand up front one day. And Kris (my leader) will hand me that silly gold key that means so much. She'll tell me that I've learned the skills necessary to live the lifestyle I want to live. That I know them in my heart and in my mind. I'm hoping to do an interview with Evon and will post that with some pictures soon. Congrats friend!!
I think that's why I'm feeling so "so what" tonight. Because I think that I've been feeling judged, when really, it's myself that's doing the judging. Sure comments come from here or there that I allow to get to me, but... really it comes down to me, and how I view myself. When I'm committed and stalwart, I view myself as strong and healthy. When I'm not , I view myself as... weak and powerless. And I guess I've been feeling that way a little lately and projecting it on others.
Can I just tell you, I'm so sick of that feeling!! I'm so sick of feeling like I don't have power over my life. I totally do!!! And that punk called Satan, wants me to think otherwise. He doesn't want me to know how truly powerful I am. He doesn't want me to know that I can have all my dreams come true! He doesn't want me to move forward, to let go of this silly addiction to food, and to love myself. He is just miserable, and he wants to drag me down to his level. Well... tonight, if I were the swearing type, I probably would at him. But, I'm not, so I won't. :) But I will say this - he can't have me. I'm spoken for by our good Lord. I may not be his most loyal and faithful servant, but I am going to do as much as I can to become one. And I know what he thinks of me, I know he appreciates my efforts, and for now, that is enough. I will keep trying, I will keep fighting, and I will NOT give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I may have gained this week, but the year ain't over yet!! I'm going to make this next week count, mark my words. Come on guys & girls, let's show all the food, and the critics, - let's show them what we're really made of!!!!