Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Accountability... Right, Accountability!

Have you ever felt like a beached whale? That was me yesterday & Today. Yesterday I did NOT make a good food choice, and that choice went from bad to worse when I completely STUFFED myself! Blah!! The day started out good - I ate great all morning and for lunch. But when I got home I just lost it - for NO apparent reason! There was no emotion behind it, there was no peer pressure behind it, nothing. I just... did it. We had Cafe Rio, which can be deadly, but if you make the right choices, can be just fine. Well... I started out okay, I got a tostada on a flour tortilla. This is like 1/2 of one of their big salads. Yum. Not so bad on the points scale for eating out, and I usually only eat 1/2 of that. But then as I'm checking out, I decide I needed queso and chips. I'm still telling myself I can be reasonable and just have a little, share it with Mike, and save some for later.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Yeah, like that was going to happen! What did I do? I sat down and scarfed my salad. Half way through I thought, hmmm getting full, I'll just have a little more. Little more???!!! Yeah, ate the whole dang thing. Then came the queso, and all those good thoughts of not eating too much - hmph - gone! I ate the WHOLE thing, by myself! Mike didn't even have one bite! **Hanging head in shame**

We were going to go hiking after dinner, but do you think I felt like hiking after that? NOooOOoo, I wanted to puke! Instead, Mike went fishing, and I read in bed. But as soon as he left at like 7 or 7:30 I put Willow in her Kennel and fell asleep. Seriously, I was out! It's like the food put me in a coma, my body went into shock at how much food it just got and it didn't know what to do with it all (except I'm sure to put some of it on my butt, thighs, and stomach!). I didn't get up for the rest of the night. Mike woke me up at 10 to get ready for bed, which I did and went right back to sleep. Blah.

So what do I do? I do it again tonight!! Did great all day! Then on my way home, I eat a small bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos (mmmm), but it was small and would have been FINE! Mike had grilled some tri tip steaks, and we put them in this delicious marinade over night. I ate double what I should have. Did I leave it there... hmmm... um nope! Sure didn't! I then proceeded to eat 6, yup count em' SIX reduced fat croissants. Does the fact that they were reduced fat count for anything? Well, it might of, had I not SLATHERED them in butter! I did make a small salad, you know so uhhhh... kudos for that? UHG!!! What is the deal!!!!

I've seen several posts like this on other blogs this week, so I know I'm not alone. When this happens to you, what do you do to get back on track? Help!
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8 comments:

Happy Fun Pants said...

I am a firm believer that your overeating was actually due to something. Maybe you were sad, maybe you wanted attention, maybe you were stressed, maybe you were worried and self sabotaging...I don't know. But you did do it for a reason.

When I overeat like that (and I do it more often than I can remember), it's usually because of SOMETHING. Most often, for me, it's because I'm trying to numb something or because my feelings were/are hurt.

Whatever it is, I encourage you to be kind to yourself. So you overate both nights. You felt sick and slept in a food coma. It didn't feel good, did it? Maybe you have been feeling so restricted that you wanted something that you felt like you couldn't have.

The thing is, the world is still turning and people are still living. Your last two nights had no real affect on anything - other than how you feel physically and mentally.

I guess I feel like when I do those things, it helps me to look at the why.

As to bouncing back? Usually if I eat my "on plan" breakfast, I can get back in the swing of things.

I (try) to forgive myself and remember that I'm only human. If I don't know why I binged, then I remember that I will eventually. I remember to take it one day at a time. I give myself permission to overeat at some later date (like "tomorrow") but for TODAY, I promise myself that I will eat knowingly and conscientiously. And then when tomorrow is today (i.e. the next day), I repeat that mantra. I literally sometimes have to take it one day or one meal at a time.

You can do this. Just relax, be kind to yourself, and try to think what you're REALLY hungry for. The answer will come eventually.

Lesia said...

Oh Sam sweetie~ ARE YOU KIDDING ME! At least you recognize the error and it isn't going to be a habit. Right? I know you will get right back on that horse and ride off in the sunset so don't beat yourself up too bad. See you tomorrow night.smile.

fatgirl_vs_world said...

The first thing I do is apologize to myself.

And then I come up with a battle plan. What about those foods made it so you went overboard -- was it a particular texture or taste? Was it the portion size? Was it that it was there? I combat the catalyst

And I'm feeling particularly weak towards something I just don't keep it around.

I may spend some more time in the gym or out of the house (I leave my $ and credit cards home so I don't feel tempted to buy something). When I'm exercising and being good to my body, I feel less of a need to sabotage myself.

julielopez3 said...

Sam, we must be living the same week! But one thing I learned from the personal trainer I used this winter. It's not about perfection its about persistence, so we are not perfect every day, as long as you are persistently trying to live a healthier lifestyle that is what matters. Also he told me allow yourself one meal of one day where you have whatever you want. It's what I call a free target day. I try to count my points but don't beat myself up if I haven't met my healthy guidelines and have gone above my daily points.
To get back on track, I have to start my day out with a workout, and a healthy breakfast.
Hang in there, it will all fall into place.. (and off our butts)
See you tomorrow!

Keelie said...

oh girl==I can tell I'm going to like this blog!

Keelie said...

sorry--didn't answer the question. It's so difficult and yet so very simple all at the same time. You just do it. Just start, one meal at a time and one workout at a time, making the best choices you can. Forget about queso and steak and croissants (and for goodness sake don't talk about all of it in such glorious detail on here--makes me want a big bowl of chees:)

You know what to do--just gotta do it.
Keelie

Ana said...

Oh my darlin' girl, you will SO get past this! It starts today. You can be just as stubborn as me!

Love ya!

Oh, and stop keeping things in the house that cause you to binge! (See, I can be bossy too.)

Psyfygirl said...

I've been there hundreds of times. I'm doing great and then, boom, that little switch turns on or off, whichever, and I lose all control.

Usually, I take it as what it is, a mistake, and then I move past it and start again. Mind you, lately, it's not moving past it, it's just repeating.

However, I know I will get past it, because I have before. If I focus on the getting past it, my subconscious won't win and I'll be back on track.