Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Big Changes!

There is this story I use to tell my young women (from church) that goes like this (it's been a long time, so bear with me):

Our lives are like a little cottage. We have this image and design of who we think we are and what we should look like. We take that little cottage and do our best to take care of it. We plant a beautiful rose garden, we tenderly grow ivy up the side. Inside we decorate it and make it homey, safe, and comfortable. And one day, this builder comes along and says, "I see great potential here, can I help you with your cottage?" We say yes, and before we know it, our little cottage seems to be in shambles. The roof is ripped off, and walls are knocked down, our little flower garden seems trampled and everything we have worked so hard to make beautiful seems to be in ruins. As we lement what was, we don't really see the big picture of what's happening. We don't see the strong pillars going up, the beautiful new gardens - complete with water fountains. We noticed when they knocked out big holes in the wall - it hurt! We didn't notice that what filled the holes were beautiful colorful stainglass windows. When the builder was finished, he asked us, "What do you think"? As we step back and look at ourselves, we realize that we are no longer a little safe cottage. We have become a beautiful castle (or temple, as the case may be)!

If you haven't guessed, the builder is our Father in heaven. He allows us to go through trials and hard things, not because he doesn't love us, but because he does. He knows that it's only through those things that we can truly become who he knows we can be. This whole year has been about breaking down what's not working in my life, and rebuilding it with the Lord's help to bring me happiness and joy. This journey is so much more than losing weight, that's only a part of it. If you've read the last couple of posts, you know I've been going through some demolishon this last month. :) I'm not done, I still have far to go. But I think I'm ready to start doing a little rebuilding.

First off, I put in my 2 weeks yesterday. I had another opportunity present itself, and I felt like it was the right time to move (as did Mike). My last day at Stampin' Up! will be September 3rd, and I will begin working at Mozy on September 7th. This is a big leap of faith for me. As I've said in the past, I love my job at Stampin' Up!. I love the company and am really excited about the direction they are going! I love my demonstrators, and really and truly, that was the worst part about making this decision. Was knowing that I wouldn't get to talk to them day in and day out. I won't get to be a part of their business and to see them succeed from the inside. I do hope that the friendships I have made with them will last and that I will still get to cheer them on from the sidelines! I will be doing tech support for the customers of Mozy. Although it's an entry position, I will be making more money which will help greatly! And I fully expect there to be new opportunities to move up through the company, and eventually to be in a position to again be a kind of coach. I want to be challenged, to grow, to learn new things, to meet new people, and to have new experiences. I'm VERY excited!

Secondly, I'm not going to be doing Weight Watchers anymore. This has been a real struggle in making this decision as well. Anne, you have all rights to say "I told you so" at this point. :) Through many different experiences I have had lately, I feel like it's time for me to go about my weight loss differently, and to focus more on the spirit and then let the body follow. I've been reading Women, God, and Food. It has really changed how I view this journey. The book is not the only reason I'm making these changes, but it has given me the guidelines I'll need to do what I really feel prompted to do. This will be so challenging, scary, and different. For those of you not familiar with the book, the basic idea is that you don't need to follow a diet. That if you listen to your body (NOT your mind) that you will know what and how much to eat. I haven't really... ever... trusted my body or myself. How sad is that? I trust people in my life all the time. Family, friends, co-workers, people driving next to me, but have never been able to fully trust me. I feel like I'm on a precipce and am about to dive headlong. But as I said, I really feel that this is the direction I'm suppose to go. I haven't thought out all the details of this yet but I'm starting now and will figure it out along the way. I'm sure I'll be talking about this more soon.

Third, I'm changing my over all goal. I'm keeping it to 100lbs, that is still the ultimate goal! But, I'm adjusting my timeline. I'd like to be down 60lbs (from January) by the end of December. I'm not exactly sure how much that really is for me to lose, as I still have not stepped on a scale since the 20th. :)  But I think that if I lose around 6lbs a month, I'll be able to do that. But I guess this is really where the trust and faith come in - both in myself, and that the Lord will help me stay on the straight and narrow.

And fourth, and lastly, I had set my sights on running a 10k in December. But Mike wants to run one at the end of September, and I am going to do it with him. This is a BIG challenge for me, and I probably won't be ready to run the entire thing. But I know I can do it and I am excited to get training. I'm still sticking to my no plan - plan for exercise. So I won't be setting a training schedule. I'm just going to try and get in at least 2-3 jogs a week. I feel really excited about this and am ready for the challenge!

As you can see, big changes! This is definitley not the turn that I expected to have right now, but it feels right. I feel peaceful about it, and am ready to jump with both feet. While those knocked down walls were very painful, I know there is purpose in all things and I am ready to learn those lessons.



Sabrina said...

Great story! And I wish you all the luck & happiness in the world with the changes you have decided to make. Hopefully the No Numbers Challenge will put you, and all of us, closer to our goals.

:Deliciously Healthy said...

Love the analogy!

Good luck with everything!

The Warner Corner said...

Congratulations! I am proud of you. Change is HARD but good too. I just hope your new boss isn't a jerk! ;) I'm glad we are friends. I love you to death!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

Best of luck on your changes... change can be so good!! I loved that analogy with the house being built into a temple. Always good to remember that. :)


Lesia said...

So excited for you and your decisions. I hope it is everything you have wanted. I will miss you at the meetings:(

Joy said...

Girl you gave me goose bumps. I love the story and your new plan!!!

Want you to know that you've been on my mind a lot lately and I've been praying for you. I guess this is why!!! The Lord is shakin' you up!!!! He knows what's best. Just keep focused on what he wants you to do!!

Keep at it my friend!!


Psyfygirl said...

I think I remember something similar from when I was a teenager. Thank you for reminding me. Change is terrifying but I know you'll be able to do it, and it will be very rewarding.

Patrick said...

Nice writing... wishing you strength and luck with your changes!

Happy Fun Pants said...

I would never say that I told you so. I think WW is a great plan!

I just want to let you know that intuitive eating has been a real struggle for me. I believe that it can work, but it's a struggle - and I'm not down more weight than what I was when I left Weight Watchers. I did fine for a while and then have started seeing the scale creep up in a direction that is not so positive.

I'm not saying it doesn't work, because I know women that have been very successful with it. I'm just saying it can be tough.

I look forward to learning from you - what will be successful and what will not be.

I HAVE to believe that God trusted us with intuition...all I need to do is figure out how to listen to it consistently.

Happy Fun Pants said...

Also? Good luck on your journey - both in a new job and a new healthy plan. Big changes indeed!