Yes. I. Do!!!

"On the surface it may seem like the 

hard part is eating less and moving 

more but in reality the hard part is  

messing up but not stopping."  

~ Keelie at REAL Fat

I just loved this so much! Head over to Keelie's blog and read this post. You won't regret it. Seriously, I feel like I have been stuck in mud up to my thighs for the past two years. It's just nuts. You know what? I am pretty good at dieting. And actually, I am pretty good at moving more and exercising regularly. And I used to think I was good at messing up and not stopping - but truly I think that is my down fall. Well, it's not even the messing up part. I can do that and get back up. But for no reason that I can figure out I just stop. I stop caring and I stop trying and I start eating more and moving less. I just stop. 

The truth is that somewhere along the way - I did give up. I was right there - you know - an arms length away from everything I wanted. Weight wise, financially, etc. I was there. And for some crazy reason, I opened my hand and let go. And lost it all. And no matter how hard I have clamored and clawed to get it back - I just have not been able to free myself. 

And now I just stare at myself in the mirror and wonder if I have it in me to get it back? I've had some really deep conversations with Mike this week. And with God. It's gotten very real around here, and really painful. And it's time. It's time for me to seriously take my life in hand and make what I want out of it. It's time for the excuses to end. It's time to lose the weight and be done with it. It's time to get pregnant and move on to the next chapter in our lives. It's time. No more waiting. 

Staring in the mirror I wonder if I have it in me...
Hell. Yes. I. Do!!!!

Sam