Tuesday, March 8, 2011

You don't always get what you expect...

So, I'm thinking I'm going through a mid life crisis 10 years to early. :) I fell in love with that song, Firework by Katy Perry (The one I posted in my last post). In the real video she has this gorgeous long dark hair with purple streaks. I thought, I could do that. I would like to do that. I want to do that. I think I'm going to do that. And before I know it, I'm at the store picking out hair dye. I would have gone to my hair stylist, I wanted to really, but that is to expensive for us right now, so I had to settle for doing it myself. I thought if I could get it the right color on my own, then maybe I can go to her to help me add some small peek-a-boo purple highlights. My biggest concern was being a good example for the young women, so I haven't decided if I'll really go through with that part. So last night Mike and I picked out some dye. He found one that was a soft black with red highlights. I thought that would be perfect. My hair is light enough, I didn't really expect it to go black, just a darker brown with auburn highlights. Well, if you've ever dyed your own hair, you know, you don't always get what you expect!!

What do you think???! My eyebrows need some help and to be darker for sure, I'll work on that! 

Anyway, it's been fun. Today I was journaling on why I felt the need to make such a drastic change (I've started an actual journal). I think it's because I know that there is a lot of change that needs to happen. Here is the thing, I KNOW that if I dieted, or even just watched my food intake with intent and exercised for a long enough time period, I would lose weight. But I also know with out a shadow of a doubt it would just come back. I'm starting to see that second fact is not because I'm a failure. It's because there is more going on here. There are deeper issues that need to be worked through so that when I do get to the point that I'm ready to start working on my body's health, it will finally be able to stick. And I KNOW that these kinds of changes don't happen overnight. As much as we want them to. I want to wake up tomorrow healed. I want the traumas of my childhood to be gone. I want my relationship issues to be history. I want my weaknesses to all magically be strengths that help me help others. But it's not going to work like that. And if I act like it is, then I'm not really doing the work to cleanse my inner vessel and I'll end up right back here again another day. And I DO NOT WANT THAT. I never want to be here again. So instead of rushing my way through it, I changed something I could change right away. That I could have some control over (although apparently not a lot of control! :D ). And funny enough, this silly change brought on some helpful thoughts for me in my quest to cleanse. Who would have thought a $8 box of smelly stuff could do that much?! 

Have you ever made a drastic hair change?



Mom to the Fourth Power said...

I use to perm my hair. I permed it from high school until just 5 years ago. (well over 20 years). Then someone learned I was perming my hair (she thought it was naturally curly) and suggested I let it go straight. I did and eventually put highlights in. To me, it's been a drastic change because I always associated my best looking hair style to be curly. It is fun to change something about ourselves that we can control. It was a pre-curser for me to loose my weight as well. So I totally see a connection.

I'm sure you will learn what you need to do to heal yourself... inside and then out!! :) You are amazing.


Natalia said...

I love it! :) I think that hair is such a great way to express yourself because nothing is permanent with hair...though you may have to live with it for a while. So i say streak away! :)

I love the color it makes your eyes pop! :)

HCGpower said...

You are brave I only did highlights last year for the first time and I am 44. Of course my teen girl was the instigator to me doing it. Now I think I wants to try again but only cause there is some slight silver poping up and I am not sure I like that to much.

Change is good control well there are levels that we get to have and some we just have to flow along with. You most likely are going to fit right in with all the young women;)

Sarah said...

I had a similar hair experience - and as soon as my hair dresser and I saw it, we literally both started shouting curse words! :)

I think it's great; super sassy and fun for this early spring weather. Get some great volumnizer (I love Halo, but there are many good ones) and add lift to the back.

I think you'll rock it gal. You are a firework!