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Monday, January 7, 2013

I Failed

Have you ever thought that to yourself? Have you ever thought that you failed? I have so many times, I can't even pretend to count them. We all do, it's part of this life. 

Tonight I went with Mike up to walk around the Olympic Oval. It was busy, lots of runners and ice skaters. I was probably the slowest one on the track. I walked one mile in 25 minutes. Slow. But I did it, and only felt like my hip was going to fall off half the time. So I am pretty pleased with that. :D I'm not going to lie, I am petty enough that I had the thought that I wished I had a shirt that says "I'm 20 weeks pregnant". Unless you know me, I don't look pregnant. I just look overweight. And I kept thinking "they probably think this fat girl should get her butt in gear so she won't be fat".  Like I said, petty. 

After I finished I sat on the mats to stretch a little and thought about all the years I've had to lose weight. And all the years that I didn't (or that I did and gained it back). I failed. I wondered if I had known that I was going to get pregnant, would I have been able to do it? Honestly I don't know. But then I thought - does it really matter? And the truth is, it doesn't. The truth is - as cliche as it is - I've only truly failed if I stop starting again. I will keep trying to get healthy. Probably my whole life. Failure is just a chance to learn something about yourself. And hopefully each time it's not the same lesson!

I'm not done learning - not by a long shot!

1 comment:

Joy said...

Friend I am proud of you. Keep doing you can and enjoy this precious time.

No Fear!!