Sunday, November 21, 2010

Peace Brings Power!

Week 3 - Step 3: Make Peace with Food

"3. Make Peace with Food Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can't or shouldn't have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, binging When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt."

Make peace with food huh? Well, I'm getting there. I still have a ways to go, but I feel like I've made a lot of progress in the last three months. I'm not binging near as often as I was when I started. I'm only overeating about 1/2 to 1/4 the time. I still struggle quite a bit with the emotional eating, but... I'm not giving up. I have a feeling when I get to that step I will probably work on it longer than a week. Maybe a month. I think of all these steps, that is truly what I struggle with the most.  

I think that I am actually at peace with the play foods. I honestly and truly believe they are no longer off limits and that I can eat them when ever I want. It's almost like they have traded places with healthy food. I have been hesitant about healthy food or diet food. Thinking about it, I think it's because I'm afraid of it. Afraid that if I eat it I will start sliding back in my thinking. But... I know what the next step in making peace with food is. I need to give that fear to God and let go. And then accept healthy food the way I have the play food, and fall in love with it!

In all the diets I've ever been on, I don't think I've really ever LOVED the food! I think most times I tolerated it, sometimes I liked it or didn't mind it. Sometimes I found things that I actually did love! I wrote the first part of this paragraph, but as I read over it, I realized it isn't true! I mean sure, there was some food I didn't love and will never eat again because I don't have to. But really, I did love a lot of the food. It tasted good and I made great meals! I think what tainted the food though was the restriction. Feeling like I had to eat it to get what I wanted. That was what I didn't love. It was like the food took my power away from me, and for that, I hated it! 

This time it's different, because I have the power! I can make the choice to eat healthy - when I want to. And I can make the choice to eat a play food and NOT feel guilty about it.

I was just looking through all my pictures from this year, and man, I smiled a lot! I sweat a lot! It was a good year. I was in LOVE with how I felt! I was in LOVE with the energy I had! I was in LOVE with myself! And while I realize I feel at peace with food, I also realize that eating only play foods has taken away some thing that I LOVE, cherish, and crave...


While I have been making peace with play foods, and I do believe that has been a very important process for me, they are not very nutritious. They do not give me energy. So even though I have wanted to move my body, I'm usually too tired. 

I have been thinking about this all weekend, and I feel like.... I mean I'm ready... I mean I need... I mean I want to eat healthy foods this week! And what I LOVE about that, is that it's truly a want! I want to have the energy I know they'll bring! I want to have the energy to really start moving my body again! I mean I really felt good when I did that! I felt so alive! And what I also love is that I KNOW that even though that's what I want, it doesn't mean I have to start depriving myself of the play foods I have been devouring. It just means that I don't really feel like or want them all the time any more. I know that I can have them when I want, and that is so freeing! But even more freeing is knowing that I don't NEED them all the time! I no longer dream about them, drool over them, or obsess about them. I am at peace with the play foods.

I found this picture, and I don't know if I had ever shared it, maybe I did. But I just love it! I love the HUGE grin I have! And I love how you can see this delight and pride in my eyes of knowing how hard I had worked to earn that bright pink glow! I want that glow back. I want to sweat again! And the best part is that I know I can have it all! I can have the healthy food, I can have the play food, I can have the sweat! It's mine for the taking, and don't mind if I do!



Mom to the Fourth Power said...

I am so happy for you Sam and to see how far you've come and what you've learned. You are an inspiration! You are an amazing and strong woman. I think you posts really give hope and insight to so many people.

I wonder if food addiction can be compared to other addictions. When you are obese, I think sometimes drastic measures are needed. I don't know if the intuitive eating would work for many situations. Like someone trying to quit smoking, sometimes you do have to avoid what you want and what's not good for you. Yet we all have to find a balance we can live with so that we don't go back into bad habits and feel deprived. It's different for each of us, I think. You seem to have come across something that is quite unique and tailored to what you've needed.

I've come to the realization that I am not depriving myself. I'm choosing to not eat some of the foods I used to. Once my cravings have subsided, it helps me make better choices. It wouldn't be good for me to give in to my little urges here and there to satisfy me... I just have to tell myself "no". And that works for me. I feel so much better eating healthier and I know if I gave in to an urge to down a few slices of pizza, I would most likely end up vomiting it up later on because my body is no longer use to that many carbs, fat and oils at once. Thankfully, I haven't had to find that out. What amazes me is that for the most part - I don't feel deprived, and that's what it really comes down to.

Thanks so much for your insightful posts!!
Happy Thanksgiving week girl!

Blessings your way...

kizzy said...

this is one unique great post..congrats...keep it up!

"Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it."
-Oprah Winfrey ~saucony running shoes

Natalia said...

Hey Sam! Love the pic and the paragraph after it! Very true!! :)

ladyofthehouse said...

I totally get what you were saying about it not really being the food you disliked but rather the restrictions. So true!!
Also how when you're not on your game you feel that lack of energy. Who wants that?
What a great idea to look through pictures of your journey - what an encouragement to see all these happy healthy pictures to keep you (and us) inspired!
You're doing great - keep it up!

diane :)