So my writer's block - GONE! I have so many things I want to blog about but not enough time! A couple of maintenance things. Becky - I served in Alaska! LOVED it! :D Also, I haven't forgot about my blog candy, it's not here yet, coming later this week, I'll do a drawing soon. And will put everyone's name in who has left a comment since that post. Those who commented on that specific post - get their name in twice!
Yesterday was not the greatest day. It started out well, I had a tasty and healthy breakfast. But I sorta fell to pieces around lunch and dinner got even worse. Not that what I ate was terrible for my body, more the amount of food that I ate. And I wasn't really feel emotional or anything. This morning I was pondering on it in the shower and I think what is going on, I'm tired! I'm so tired all the time and I was trying to eat for energy. Problem is, the foods I chose are not the kind that will give me lasting and real energy. So today I tried something new.
I thought about all the things that could give me real energy.
1. Healthy food
4. Spiritual enlightenment
Huh. Interesting! Okay, not rocket science, but it was a wake up call to me none the less. So I need to break it down.
1. Healthy food: I actually have been eating great. I have been following my body, not overeating very often. And adding some fruits and veggies back in. I went to the store last week and hardly bought any play food. But I still am finding myself even when my body is craving a healthier choice, going toward the more fattening/starchy/sweet options. I don't think those things are bad for me anymore. I really don't. But I also don't think I can sustain life on them. They just don't give me enough energy. So today when I was considering what to eat, I asked myself "What will give me energy?" and "What will make me feel awesome?" (that second question came off of one of my Intuitive friend's blog, but I can't remember which one. If it was you, claim it!).
So what have I eaten today? First of all, I haven't overeaten at all! Yay! For breakfast Mike made his famous egg sandwich. It was on English muffin bread, with 2 fried eggs, ham, melted pepper jack cheese and mayo. Yum! Usually I can eat a whole one, but today I ate about 1/4 and was full. I went through our fridge as I made my lunch with ENERGY being the driving force and this is what I ended up with. Green grapes and fresh picked raspberries for a morning snack. Lunch was a LARGE salad with cherry tomatoes, olives, baby corn, cucumber, carrots, 1/2 avocado, ham, and my favorite home made 1000 island dressing. And some crackers crumbled on top. For my afternoon snack I had an apple and some more salad. (I couldn't eat it all) It was DELISH! And several people commented on how tasty the salad looked. It really was so good! I was thinking to myself, if most people saw a heavier girl like me eating this, they'd probably think I was dieting. But... I wasn't. I put a lot of dressing on, and I enjoyed every bite of that dressing. Before eating this way, I would have put probably 1/4 on. Or I would have put on the same amount, but felt guilty about it. Today, I just felt satisfied and energized! It was awesome! So this will be my new mini focus for the next week. "What will give me Energy?"
2. Sleep - I actually do okay here. We go to bed fairly early, because Mike has to get up at 4:30. I usually end up rolling out of bed at 5:30. But I think I want to try for 5 and maybe do some yoga or Pilate's for 30 minutes. Sometimes I think I get too much sleep.
3. Exercise - Exercise energizes me. Okay, not at first. When I first start working out, it zaps my energy for about the first 2 weeks. Then all of sudden I have TONS! I haven't been working out since I quit WW. I may have already said this - so I apologize if I'm repeating myself. But for me exercise has always gone with dieting. I stopped dieting, so I stopped exercising. Funny thing is, I've been missing it. I've been missing the energy that comes from it. The alone time that I get to just be in my head and think things through. The sweat. The feeling of accomplishment. I've realized that I like to exercise. I like to run. Not because it burns calories, but because it makes me feel good.
So I need to update my mini goal. I'm sad to say that I won't be able to hike the Above and Beyond hike this year. I thought maybe I could do it, but... I just am not where I need to be to be able to do it and enjoy it. I could push myself and I know I could finish it. But it would be so hard and painful that it wouldn't be fun and enjoyable. I don't mind pain, but I want this to be something that I can do holding my head high, not dragging my sorry butt up the mountain! So... I've decided to wait until next year. I know that it is in my future, so although I'm bummed, it's okay. My 10k in Moab is quickly approaching, so my focus will be shifting to preparing for that. Mike and I have started our training this week. Over the weekend we were talking about starting with 2 mile jogs and working up to the 6 miles. I told him I didn't think I could run 2 miles straight anymore. He said I could. Well, today I proved him right! It was VERY slow, but I didn't stop once. That is my goal, to run as much of the 10k I can and finish. I'm not worried about my time. I just want to finish. I'm excited about this, it's giving me something to push for, and will bring back the energy I get from the exercise!
4. Spiritual enlightenment - so I am a pretty spiritual person I think. I do my best to follow my religion, I do my best to be kind to others and put them first (that is a work in progress, but I do feel like I'm progressing),, I follow most of the commandments all the time (I haven't killed anyone today), and others I try my best to follow - like loving my neighbor. I'm not perfect at it, but I'm trying. But this morning as I thought about it, I realized that it's all kind of surface. I want to take it deeper. I want to know God and Christ on a personal level. I want to feel their presence in my life all day every day. I want to feel the spirit and know when someone is in need. And be in tune enough to know what it is I can do for them. I think I am going to have to try harder to get that. It's going to take some time studying the scriptures. More time spent in the service of others. Praying more often then once, maybe twice a day - but really learning what it means to live with a prayer in my heart all the time. And I think it means to start meditating again.
I was a massage therapist. And in school I had the privilege of taking some classes on meditation. I had one of the BEST teachers for this named Clint Brock. He is so good. And so in tune with the spirit. I had some amazing experiences. I think some people look at meditation as weird, or evil. But I don't think so. I think it depends on the purpose of your meditation. So many times, we pray but don't give God any time to respond back to us. For me, that's what meditation is. It's quieting my mind so that I can hear the spirit speak to me. And I want so much to hear! To know, and to love! I'm excited about this part of my journey, and truly feel this will also bring me much energy! For book club we will be going to meditate with Clint next week and I am SOOO excited!!!
So these are the things I am going to continue working on. I just needed to get it all out of my head and down on paper (or my blog, so to speak) so that I could define it and have direction.
One last thought, today while I was running, I realized that about 90% of my thoughts were of things in the future. It started with me picking a point to run to. I was picking points so far ahead, I couldn't even visually see them. No wonder it was so difficult. But when I would focus more on the now and pick a point in front of me and get there, it was so much easier. I started listening to my thoughts and realized how often I do that. I am living so much in the future, I'm not enjoying the now. I'm not feeling my body as it is now. But the now is just as beautiful and wonderful as the future will be. And if I don't take time to enjoy it, I'll miss out on some great things. And get to the "future" and it will be empty. I guess all I'm saying - live in the now! It's great to plan and prepare and be ready for the future. But the now is where we are, let's enjoy it!
What gives you energy? And how do you stay focused on the now?