Thursday, August 4, 2011

What a beautiful week!

I have to say, it really has been a great week (with some clouds, and thunder storms - both in the literal and emotional sense, but that's for another post)!! Just having my blog back, even though I've only posted once, has been great! I can't believe how much I missed it. 

Also, a week or so ago I had a pretty lengthy discussion with God and got some answers. I am approaching my relationship with Christ in a new way and I love it! I feel like I am in a better space about who God is, what He expects of me, and what I need to do. Because of this communication, I have several things I have felt prompted to do. 

One was to cancel Netflix. That was hard! We just have been watching too much TV, which leads to much laziness and eating! So we did it! This means the only thing we really have access to are our movies, and the occasional show on Hulu. I feel really good about this move! 

Another one was to stop hiding socially, and to have some conversations I've been avoiding. I have started working on the not hiding, and had the conversations I was avoiding. Let me just say, I have wonderful people in my life and I love them!

The last one is to get a blessing from Mike, which will be done this Sunday. 

Overall, I'm feeling very good about all this. I feel like I have been asked to do something, and finally held up my end of the bargain. God always does his part, I'm the one that falls short. But I guess that is where that new perspective I mentioned comes in. 

I used to always pray with guilt. Do you know what I mean? Like everything I had done was bad and wrong, and that made me a bad and wrong person. If you asked me to describe God to you, I would have said he was a loving, kind, and forgiving Father that want us to be happy (and much more of course). But in my prayers, I wasn't really acting like that was my belief. The way I would pray and think, it was if he was a cruel man that withholds from me when I am "evil" and that he is berating me for not being perfect - even though He wasn't. I was the one holding onto that perception. And because of that, two way communication was limited. Have you ever tried to have a relationship with some that you feel like doesn't "get you"? Well that's exactly what was happening! I wasn't really getting Him. 

I had some ah-ha moments recently and as such, have tried to change the way I pray. To pray in a loving manner not only to God, but also myself. To not let my own self disappointments and frustrations come out in my prayer, and not to mistake those feelings as if they are God's feelings. I have found that by doing this, I am much more open to receiving the Spirit, and to really hearing what Heavenly Father is trying to say to me and to teach me about myself and Christ. 

I'm not sure if I'm making sense, I'm kind of tired. 

Anyway... it's been beautiful! And because of this shift, it has been a very different week for me. As has this post. I was planning to post about Over-eaters Anonymous and my experience with Wendy's spicy chicken nuggets today. But... my fingers took me in a different direction. Guess you'll have to come back tomorrow night for those stories!!




timothy said...

fabulous! glad you're back and "back"! it's amazing how things open up when we freely accept them.

Joy said...

You totally make sense!! I am sooooo happy for you!! He has an awesome plan for you Sam, something only you can do!! Keep looking to Him!!

Keep focused!!